This blog is called "Beches love this" which I guess makes me a "Bech." I'm good with that!
My fave:
“And then there’s also Courtney…There’s some sort of weird magical force that sort of pulls us together.” Yeah Ben that force has a name, it’s called your dick.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Check it out: the Knotty Bride experiences every emotion
I Loove the Knotty Bride's recap. LOVE. Especially this:
BEN: “I’ve felt every emotion.”
Is this real life? Every? Emotion? Every emotion? What is going on right now; like, did I miss something? Did I miss an episode where Ben felt the other 99% of the emotions he never experiences in front of us?
No matter, because everybody knows that Ben’s emotional spectrum is limited to the adjectives included on the cover of a scrapbook that’s on the floor of a helicopter somewhere. Everybody, everybody knows this.
Check it out: theknottybride.com
BEN: “I’ve felt every emotion.”
Is this real life? Every? Emotion? Every emotion? What is going on right now; like, did I miss something? Did I miss an episode where Ben felt the other 99% of the emotions he never experiences in front of us?
No matter, because everybody knows that Ben’s emotional spectrum is limited to the adjectives included on the cover of a scrapbook that’s on the floor of a helicopter somewhere. Everybody, everybody knows this.
Check it out: theknottybride.com
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Bachelor Ben - Episode 9
Ok finally time for a Bachelor recap. I’m sorry for the delay – I always watch it on On Demand to do my recap but for whatever reason they haven’t had it up the past 2 days. UNACCEPTABLE. I finally broke down and watched it online.
Ep starts. Ben drones on about how he’s experienced every emotion in the book – “love, anger sadness…” – yep those are all the emotions he needed to cover. “I have premonitions…of life…with children, with Lyndzi.” Cool Ben. His voice seems so condescending to me.
Ok we’re in Switzerland now. Just saying, the landscape could have used a couple Von Trapp children. Nicki recounts telling Ben that she loved him…and she’s super giddy and excited about it. I really wish Ben had let her go earlier. Oops I just gave it away. But I feel like she’s such a sweet, open person, and he clearly doesn’t want to end up with her, I wish he had sent her home earlier, instead of say, Kacie. But I digress.
Nicki and Ben go on a date that I would have personally refused. Their helicopter dives down gorges and leaves them on a huge mountain peak. NO THANKS. “My relationship with Nicki is getting…to new heights!” Do they FEED him these lines?
Nicki is gorgeous. She deserves so much more. She has what the Toddlers in Tiaras judges would call “facial beauty.” Anyway, Ben narrates their date in his signature monotone. “I hope she says yes to an overnight, because it feels like we’re continuing our love story.” Even Ben can’t summon up a convincing face for this.
I think he realizes that Nicki isn’t going to be the one, and he feels a little guilty that he’s going to go through this whole FANTASY SUITE shenanigans with her. Which kind of makes it grosser that he goes through with it. “I’m not a cocky person, but I am confident that I would make you so happy. I would give you what you deserve – you’re a good person, Ben.” Oh Nicki. You will make a really sweet wife to a much nicer guy, I promise. Maybe he’ll even literally build you a log cabin.
When I get think about fantasy suites and get really skeeved out about how trashy and emotionally manipulative it is, I want to scream DON’T DO IT NICKI!! But you know she does it.
LYNDZI DATE
Time to repel down a cliff. Ben is clearly about to wet himself which pleases me. Just saying, my lovely roommate once bungee jumped off this very cliff – it can’t be THAT bad, and they’re just slowly descending. “You have to be there for each other, just like repelling off of a cliff.” You’re right Lyndzi, that’s exactly how love is. They reach the bottom. Note for producers – this does not really translate well to TV.
Ben and Lyndzi cuddle up in the hot tub…she is clearly a bit tipsy. I think she must have thrown back a couple shots to work up the courage to “drop the L bomb” as Ben would say. “I love Lyndzi!” Ben says. SHIT OH MAN HE SAID THAT. We’re supposed to think. I think the producers encouraged that to try to throw us off the track with C-Dawg. But time will tell.
Hate that necktie. “It wasn’t until I met you that I knew what a bad relationship I was in,” Lyndzi says. Ugh that’s sad. Both of these dates have been mostly the ladies droning on and on while Ben says “uh huh” in that signature bored voice of his. “I like you, and I’m falling in love with you, and I absolutely know that I want to see a proposal at the end.” If you’re having trouble saying “I love you,” that probably means it’s time for a proposal, I always say. “Wow,” Ben says. Note to the ladyfriends, if Ben responds to your declaration with “wow” then it’s not going to have the outcome you’re hoping for.
“Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite.” – Chris Harrison
Then we see Lyndzi's butt. As she would say, "that just happened." At least it's a nice butt.klo
COURTNEY TIME
“I’ve had a really great week.” Yeah I bet you have Ben. He is super pumped to see Courtney.
Ben’s smiles are no longer forced. “She wants to discover the culture.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Courtney “feels bad” about the way she treated the other girls. Ben transitions painfully from babytalk to talking about Court’s treatment of the ladyfriends, “you would kind of twist the knife,” he says, and calls what she did “pretty messed up.” Court cries, and says she hopes they can recover.
Here’s how I feel about Courtney. I don’t know if she’s actually a bad person or not. I’m going to go with, probably, she’s not a very nice girl – the way she treated Emily, the way she blatantly gloated after people got sent home, the time she asked Kacie “how did that feel coming out of your mouth?” But either way, the producers made her the MegaBitch of the show. Now, she’s about to maybe win this thing, and they’re starting to change the rules on us. Suddenly it’s time for Courtney to apologize, Ben has “huge doubts and concerns,” etc. Stop manipulating me, Chris Harrison. Just stop.
Courtney asks Ben, how do YOU feel about the Fantasy Suite? Instead of talking on and on like the other women did, while Ben sits there saying “wow” like a robot, she once again forces him to explain his feelings. She should seriously write a book.
BACHELORETTE PREP SESSION/BLATANT AD FOR THE TITANTIC
Only thing I’m going to comment on – didn't Emily lose her fiancé tragically? Must be pretty fun for her to watch this movie. Nice move producers.
KACIE SHOCKINGLY SHOWS UP
Poor Kacie. She is so so nervous and so clearly in love with Ben. She’s sweet and honest and open, and as my friend David say she “has a little crazy in her,” which I personally appreciate. She wants answers. Ben is not interested in giving them. He blames it on the family. She says, actually I’m an independent person and I’m not my family. He doesn’t really know what to say.
This is when Kacie decided, might as well take Courtney down with me. “If you were to chose Courtney you’d get your heart broken.”
This is Ben’s “STFU, she’s a model” face. He just lets her talk on and on and doesn’t say anything. Except, “I don’t know what to say.” He is clearly PISSED. “I can leave,” Kacie says. “I’ll walk you out.” She tells him that she’s sorry. SHE’S SORRY. Ben looks even more pissed and doesn’t say much, just turns and shuts the door. Dammit Kacie, he thinks, I just redeemed Courtney. Why did you have to F it up?
ROSE CEREMONY TIME
When Ben’s pissed, he starts uptalking. “I’m not questioning my feelings? I’m questioning everything?” He deliberates with Chris, decides not to bring Kacie into the rose ceremony (producers are pissed). No one’s surprised that he doesn’t pick Nicki. I may be giving Ben too much credit, but I think that MAYBE, just maybe, he gave Nicki some hint that she wouldn’t get a rose, because she looks really nervous. And even though she’s upset, she handles it with a lot of class. I don’t know, I think I’m probably giving Nicki too little credit.
At least she’s a beautiful crier. That’s like a superpower.
I CANT. WAIT. FOR. WOMEN. TELL. ALL.
See you this time next week!
Ep starts. Ben drones on about how he’s experienced every emotion in the book – “love, anger sadness…” – yep those are all the emotions he needed to cover. “I have premonitions…of life…with children, with Lyndzi.” Cool Ben. His voice seems so condescending to me.
Ok we’re in Switzerland now. Just saying, the landscape could have used a couple Von Trapp children. Nicki recounts telling Ben that she loved him…and she’s super giddy and excited about it. I really wish Ben had let her go earlier. Oops I just gave it away. But I feel like she’s such a sweet, open person, and he clearly doesn’t want to end up with her, I wish he had sent her home earlier, instead of say, Kacie. But I digress.
Nicki and Ben go on a date that I would have personally refused. Their helicopter dives down gorges and leaves them on a huge mountain peak. NO THANKS. “My relationship with Nicki is getting…to new heights!” Do they FEED him these lines?
Nicki is gorgeous. She deserves so much more. She has what the Toddlers in Tiaras judges would call “facial beauty.” Anyway, Ben narrates their date in his signature monotone. “I hope she says yes to an overnight, because it feels like we’re continuing our love story.” Even Ben can’t summon up a convincing face for this.
I think he realizes that Nicki isn’t going to be the one, and he feels a little guilty that he’s going to go through this whole FANTASY SUITE shenanigans with her. Which kind of makes it grosser that he goes through with it. “I’m not a cocky person, but I am confident that I would make you so happy. I would give you what you deserve – you’re a good person, Ben.” Oh Nicki. You will make a really sweet wife to a much nicer guy, I promise. Maybe he’ll even literally build you a log cabin.
When I get think about fantasy suites and get really skeeved out about how trashy and emotionally manipulative it is, I want to scream DON’T DO IT NICKI!! But you know she does it.
LYNDZI DATE
Time to repel down a cliff. Ben is clearly about to wet himself which pleases me. Just saying, my lovely roommate once bungee jumped off this very cliff – it can’t be THAT bad, and they’re just slowly descending. “You have to be there for each other, just like repelling off of a cliff.” You’re right Lyndzi, that’s exactly how love is. They reach the bottom. Note for producers – this does not really translate well to TV.
Ben and Lyndzi cuddle up in the hot tub…she is clearly a bit tipsy. I think she must have thrown back a couple shots to work up the courage to “drop the L bomb” as Ben would say. “I love Lyndzi!” Ben says. SHIT OH MAN HE SAID THAT. We’re supposed to think. I think the producers encouraged that to try to throw us off the track with C-Dawg. But time will tell.
Hate that necktie. “It wasn’t until I met you that I knew what a bad relationship I was in,” Lyndzi says. Ugh that’s sad. Both of these dates have been mostly the ladies droning on and on while Ben says “uh huh” in that signature bored voice of his. “I like you, and I’m falling in love with you, and I absolutely know that I want to see a proposal at the end.” If you’re having trouble saying “I love you,” that probably means it’s time for a proposal, I always say. “Wow,” Ben says. Note to the ladyfriends, if Ben responds to your declaration with “wow” then it’s not going to have the outcome you’re hoping for.
“Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite.” – Chris Harrison
Then we see Lyndzi's butt. As she would say, "that just happened." At least it's a nice butt.klo
COURTNEY TIME
“I’ve had a really great week.” Yeah I bet you have Ben. He is super pumped to see Courtney.
Ben’s smiles are no longer forced. “She wants to discover the culture.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Courtney “feels bad” about the way she treated the other girls. Ben transitions painfully from babytalk to talking about Court’s treatment of the ladyfriends, “you would kind of twist the knife,” he says, and calls what she did “pretty messed up.” Court cries, and says she hopes they can recover.
Here’s how I feel about Courtney. I don’t know if she’s actually a bad person or not. I’m going to go with, probably, she’s not a very nice girl – the way she treated Emily, the way she blatantly gloated after people got sent home, the time she asked Kacie “how did that feel coming out of your mouth?” But either way, the producers made her the MegaBitch of the show. Now, she’s about to maybe win this thing, and they’re starting to change the rules on us. Suddenly it’s time for Courtney to apologize, Ben has “huge doubts and concerns,” etc. Stop manipulating me, Chris Harrison. Just stop.
Courtney asks Ben, how do YOU feel about the Fantasy Suite? Instead of talking on and on like the other women did, while Ben sits there saying “wow” like a robot, she once again forces him to explain his feelings. She should seriously write a book.
BACHELORETTE PREP SESSION/BLATANT AD FOR THE TITANTIC
Only thing I’m going to comment on – didn't Emily lose her fiancé tragically? Must be pretty fun for her to watch this movie. Nice move producers.
KACIE SHOCKINGLY SHOWS UP
Poor Kacie. She is so so nervous and so clearly in love with Ben. She’s sweet and honest and open, and as my friend David say she “has a little crazy in her,” which I personally appreciate. She wants answers. Ben is not interested in giving them. He blames it on the family. She says, actually I’m an independent person and I’m not my family. He doesn’t really know what to say.
This is when Kacie decided, might as well take Courtney down with me. “If you were to chose Courtney you’d get your heart broken.”
This is Ben’s “STFU, she’s a model” face. He just lets her talk on and on and doesn’t say anything. Except, “I don’t know what to say.” He is clearly PISSED. “I can leave,” Kacie says. “I’ll walk you out.” She tells him that she’s sorry. SHE’S SORRY. Ben looks even more pissed and doesn’t say much, just turns and shuts the door. Dammit Kacie, he thinks, I just redeemed Courtney. Why did you have to F it up?
ROSE CEREMONY TIME
When Ben’s pissed, he starts uptalking. “I’m not questioning my feelings? I’m questioning everything?” He deliberates with Chris, decides not to bring Kacie into the rose ceremony (producers are pissed). No one’s surprised that he doesn’t pick Nicki. I may be giving Ben too much credit, but I think that MAYBE, just maybe, he gave Nicki some hint that she wouldn’t get a rose, because she looks really nervous. And even though she’s upset, she handles it with a lot of class. I don’t know, I think I’m probably giving Nicki too little credit.
At least she’s a beautiful crier. That’s like a superpower.
I CANT. WAIT. FOR. WOMEN. TELL. ALL.
See you this time next week!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Check it out: AFed's take on
This, from Ali Fedotowsky's blog, makes me feel a little better about the Fantasy Suites:
Many of you probably assume that the overnight suite is for…well, you know, but that isn’t always the case. It’s different for everyone, and it’s important because it’s the first time you get to talk to each other off camera! And trust me, there are so many things you want to say that you don’t want to be aired on national television. I hope Ben and the ladies got the clarity they needed during that time together because those conversations are some of the most important conversations you’ll have on the show and in some cases, in your life.
Ehhh...no still gross.
Many of you probably assume that the overnight suite is for…well, you know, but that isn’t always the case. It’s different for everyone, and it’s important because it’s the first time you get to talk to each other off camera! And trust me, there are so many things you want to say that you don’t want to be aired on national television. I hope Ben and the ladies got the clarity they needed during that time together because those conversations are some of the most important conversations you’ll have on the show and in some cases, in your life.
Ehhh...no still gross.
Check it out: Ali Fedotowsky's Blog
I love Grantland and especially the Bachelor recaps, it's definitely worth a read! Shoutout to my friend Emily for bringing it to my attention. Here's my fave excerpt:
I don't want to brag, but early interest in my still-theoretical, but soon-to-be-all-too-real consulting firm for aspiring Bachelor contestants has been so positive that I've already reserved the West Hall at the Los Angeles Conference Center (yeah, you read that correctly — the baller hall — we're not playing around) for a very special informational seminar about our invaluable Bachelorette-coaching services. I'll say no more for now, except that we'll be offering a TOTALLY FREE "personal branding" workshop in which we'll teach crucial skills like:
I don't want to brag, but early interest in my still-theoretical, but soon-to-be-all-too-real consulting firm for aspiring Bachelor contestants has been so positive that I've already reserved the West Hall at the Los Angeles Conference Center (yeah, you read that correctly — the baller hall — we're not playing around) for a very special informational seminar about our invaluable Bachelorette-coaching services. I'll say no more for now, except that we'll be offering a TOTALLY FREE "personal branding" workshop in which we'll teach crucial skills like:
- Creatively misspelling your name to stand out from all the other Caseys/Lindsays/Skylars/Britneys and making it easier for the Bachelor to keep you distinct in his mind.
- Erasing "aspiring actress" from the Occupation line on your application and filling in a more respectable alternative like "dental hygienist," "real estate broker," or "executive escort."
I'm Going to Poke the Bear
I kind of have a problem with this:
I really don't appreciate Brad calling what Kacie said "snitching." I'm sorry, but how old are you? If you're old enough to be getting married, and you're not on The Wire, I'm pretty sure you're capable of using words other than "snitching." Then again, this is RoboBrad. Anyway, that tweet just comes off as childish and defensive. If you can't heat then get out of the Bachelor. I think Ali Fedotowsky had a much more mature take on it,
On my season, I wanted the guys to tell me what I wasn’t seeing behind the scenes, but they never really did. It’s like they didn’t want to break the “man code.” However, women tend to feel the need to look out for the men they care about and be vocal about the women they think don’t have good intentions. Women don’t generally think of that as tattling, in my opinion at least.
In other news, how douchey does Ben look in his Twitter pic? Is that supposed to be the hipster-ironic version of The Douche? Anyway, I'll get my Bach recap up tonight!
On my season, I wanted the guys to tell me what I wasn’t seeing behind the scenes, but they never really did. It’s like they didn’t want to break the “man code.” However, women tend to feel the need to look out for the men they care about and be vocal about the women they think don’t have good intentions. Women don’t generally think of that as tattling, in my opinion at least.
In other news, how douchey does Ben look in his Twitter pic? Is that supposed to be the hipster-ironic version of The Douche? Anyway, I'll get my Bach recap up tonight!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Check it out: Diaries of the Departed, Kacie edition
Ohh dishy! This extended version of Kacie's post-rose ceremony limo sob is very illuminating.
A. She still clearly really cares about Ben and thinks he deserves happiness. That's pretty impressive. I would not be that mature, I can tell you right now.
B. She says that she thought he wanted a good wife and mother...and she only sees one of those kinds of women "in there." So we can assume that she's talking about Nicki, right? Which means that Lindzi is not up to her standards, as well as Courtney? Innnteresting. I wish I had more information.
A. She still clearly really cares about Ben and thinks he deserves happiness. That's pretty impressive. I would not be that mature, I can tell you right now.
B. She says that she thought he wanted a good wife and mother...and she only sees one of those kinds of women "in there." So we can assume that she's talking about Nicki, right? Which means that Lindzi is not up to her standards, as well as Courtney? Innnteresting. I wish I had more information.
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