This blog is called "Beches love this" which I guess makes me a "Bech." I'm good with that!
My fave:
“And then there’s also Courtney…There’s some sort of weird magical force that sort of pulls us together.” Yeah Ben that force has a name, it’s called your dick.
Showing posts with label recap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recap. Show all posts
Monday, March 5, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Bachelor Ben - Episode 9
Ok finally time for a Bachelor recap. I’m sorry for the delay – I always watch it on On Demand to do my recap but for whatever reason they haven’t had it up the past 2 days. UNACCEPTABLE. I finally broke down and watched it online.
Ep starts. Ben drones on about how he’s experienced every emotion in the book – “love, anger sadness…” – yep those are all the emotions he needed to cover. “I have premonitions…of life…with children, with Lyndzi.” Cool Ben. His voice seems so condescending to me.
Ok we’re in Switzerland now. Just saying, the landscape could have used a couple Von Trapp children. Nicki recounts telling Ben that she loved him…and she’s super giddy and excited about it. I really wish Ben had let her go earlier. Oops I just gave it away. But I feel like she’s such a sweet, open person, and he clearly doesn’t want to end up with her, I wish he had sent her home earlier, instead of say, Kacie. But I digress.
Nicki and Ben go on a date that I would have personally refused. Their helicopter dives down gorges and leaves them on a huge mountain peak. NO THANKS. “My relationship with Nicki is getting…to new heights!” Do they FEED him these lines?
Nicki is gorgeous. She deserves so much more. She has what the Toddlers in Tiaras judges would call “facial beauty.” Anyway, Ben narrates their date in his signature monotone. “I hope she says yes to an overnight, because it feels like we’re continuing our love story.” Even Ben can’t summon up a convincing face for this.
I think he realizes that Nicki isn’t going to be the one, and he feels a little guilty that he’s going to go through this whole FANTASY SUITE shenanigans with her. Which kind of makes it grosser that he goes through with it. “I’m not a cocky person, but I am confident that I would make you so happy. I would give you what you deserve – you’re a good person, Ben.” Oh Nicki. You will make a really sweet wife to a much nicer guy, I promise. Maybe he’ll even literally build you a log cabin.
When I get think about fantasy suites and get really skeeved out about how trashy and emotionally manipulative it is, I want to scream DON’T DO IT NICKI!! But you know she does it.
LYNDZI DATE
Time to repel down a cliff. Ben is clearly about to wet himself which pleases me. Just saying, my lovely roommate once bungee jumped off this very cliff – it can’t be THAT bad, and they’re just slowly descending. “You have to be there for each other, just like repelling off of a cliff.” You’re right Lyndzi, that’s exactly how love is. They reach the bottom. Note for producers – this does not really translate well to TV.
Ben and Lyndzi cuddle up in the hot tub…she is clearly a bit tipsy. I think she must have thrown back a couple shots to work up the courage to “drop the L bomb” as Ben would say. “I love Lyndzi!” Ben says. SHIT OH MAN HE SAID THAT. We’re supposed to think. I think the producers encouraged that to try to throw us off the track with C-Dawg. But time will tell.
Hate that necktie. “It wasn’t until I met you that I knew what a bad relationship I was in,” Lyndzi says. Ugh that’s sad. Both of these dates have been mostly the ladies droning on and on while Ben says “uh huh” in that signature bored voice of his. “I like you, and I’m falling in love with you, and I absolutely know that I want to see a proposal at the end.” If you’re having trouble saying “I love you,” that probably means it’s time for a proposal, I always say. “Wow,” Ben says. Note to the ladyfriends, if Ben responds to your declaration with “wow” then it’s not going to have the outcome you’re hoping for.
“Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite.” – Chris Harrison
Then we see Lyndzi's butt. As she would say, "that just happened." At least it's a nice butt.klo
COURTNEY TIME
“I’ve had a really great week.” Yeah I bet you have Ben. He is super pumped to see Courtney.
Ben’s smiles are no longer forced. “She wants to discover the culture.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Courtney “feels bad” about the way she treated the other girls. Ben transitions painfully from babytalk to talking about Court’s treatment of the ladyfriends, “you would kind of twist the knife,” he says, and calls what she did “pretty messed up.” Court cries, and says she hopes they can recover.
Here’s how I feel about Courtney. I don’t know if she’s actually a bad person or not. I’m going to go with, probably, she’s not a very nice girl – the way she treated Emily, the way she blatantly gloated after people got sent home, the time she asked Kacie “how did that feel coming out of your mouth?” But either way, the producers made her the MegaBitch of the show. Now, she’s about to maybe win this thing, and they’re starting to change the rules on us. Suddenly it’s time for Courtney to apologize, Ben has “huge doubts and concerns,” etc. Stop manipulating me, Chris Harrison. Just stop.
Courtney asks Ben, how do YOU feel about the Fantasy Suite? Instead of talking on and on like the other women did, while Ben sits there saying “wow” like a robot, she once again forces him to explain his feelings. She should seriously write a book.
BACHELORETTE PREP SESSION/BLATANT AD FOR THE TITANTIC
Only thing I’m going to comment on – didn't Emily lose her fiancé tragically? Must be pretty fun for her to watch this movie. Nice move producers.
KACIE SHOCKINGLY SHOWS UP
Poor Kacie. She is so so nervous and so clearly in love with Ben. She’s sweet and honest and open, and as my friend David say she “has a little crazy in her,” which I personally appreciate. She wants answers. Ben is not interested in giving them. He blames it on the family. She says, actually I’m an independent person and I’m not my family. He doesn’t really know what to say.
This is when Kacie decided, might as well take Courtney down with me. “If you were to chose Courtney you’d get your heart broken.”
This is Ben’s “STFU, she’s a model” face. He just lets her talk on and on and doesn’t say anything. Except, “I don’t know what to say.” He is clearly PISSED. “I can leave,” Kacie says. “I’ll walk you out.” She tells him that she’s sorry. SHE’S SORRY. Ben looks even more pissed and doesn’t say much, just turns and shuts the door. Dammit Kacie, he thinks, I just redeemed Courtney. Why did you have to F it up?
ROSE CEREMONY TIME
When Ben’s pissed, he starts uptalking. “I’m not questioning my feelings? I’m questioning everything?” He deliberates with Chris, decides not to bring Kacie into the rose ceremony (producers are pissed). No one’s surprised that he doesn’t pick Nicki. I may be giving Ben too much credit, but I think that MAYBE, just maybe, he gave Nicki some hint that she wouldn’t get a rose, because she looks really nervous. And even though she’s upset, she handles it with a lot of class. I don’t know, I think I’m probably giving Nicki too little credit.
At least she’s a beautiful crier. That’s like a superpower.
I CANT. WAIT. FOR. WOMEN. TELL. ALL.
See you this time next week!
Ep starts. Ben drones on about how he’s experienced every emotion in the book – “love, anger sadness…” – yep those are all the emotions he needed to cover. “I have premonitions…of life…with children, with Lyndzi.” Cool Ben. His voice seems so condescending to me.
Ok we’re in Switzerland now. Just saying, the landscape could have used a couple Von Trapp children. Nicki recounts telling Ben that she loved him…and she’s super giddy and excited about it. I really wish Ben had let her go earlier. Oops I just gave it away. But I feel like she’s such a sweet, open person, and he clearly doesn’t want to end up with her, I wish he had sent her home earlier, instead of say, Kacie. But I digress.
Nicki and Ben go on a date that I would have personally refused. Their helicopter dives down gorges and leaves them on a huge mountain peak. NO THANKS. “My relationship with Nicki is getting…to new heights!” Do they FEED him these lines?
Nicki is gorgeous. She deserves so much more. She has what the Toddlers in Tiaras judges would call “facial beauty.” Anyway, Ben narrates their date in his signature monotone. “I hope she says yes to an overnight, because it feels like we’re continuing our love story.” Even Ben can’t summon up a convincing face for this.
I think he realizes that Nicki isn’t going to be the one, and he feels a little guilty that he’s going to go through this whole FANTASY SUITE shenanigans with her. Which kind of makes it grosser that he goes through with it. “I’m not a cocky person, but I am confident that I would make you so happy. I would give you what you deserve – you’re a good person, Ben.” Oh Nicki. You will make a really sweet wife to a much nicer guy, I promise. Maybe he’ll even literally build you a log cabin.
When I get think about fantasy suites and get really skeeved out about how trashy and emotionally manipulative it is, I want to scream DON’T DO IT NICKI!! But you know she does it.
LYNDZI DATE
Time to repel down a cliff. Ben is clearly about to wet himself which pleases me. Just saying, my lovely roommate once bungee jumped off this very cliff – it can’t be THAT bad, and they’re just slowly descending. “You have to be there for each other, just like repelling off of a cliff.” You’re right Lyndzi, that’s exactly how love is. They reach the bottom. Note for producers – this does not really translate well to TV.
Ben and Lyndzi cuddle up in the hot tub…she is clearly a bit tipsy. I think she must have thrown back a couple shots to work up the courage to “drop the L bomb” as Ben would say. “I love Lyndzi!” Ben says. SHIT OH MAN HE SAID THAT. We’re supposed to think. I think the producers encouraged that to try to throw us off the track with C-Dawg. But time will tell.
Hate that necktie. “It wasn’t until I met you that I knew what a bad relationship I was in,” Lyndzi says. Ugh that’s sad. Both of these dates have been mostly the ladies droning on and on while Ben says “uh huh” in that signature bored voice of his. “I like you, and I’m falling in love with you, and I absolutely know that I want to see a proposal at the end.” If you’re having trouble saying “I love you,” that probably means it’s time for a proposal, I always say. “Wow,” Ben says. Note to the ladyfriends, if Ben responds to your declaration with “wow” then it’s not going to have the outcome you’re hoping for.
“Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite.” – Chris Harrison
Then we see Lyndzi's butt. As she would say, "that just happened." At least it's a nice butt.klo
COURTNEY TIME
“I’ve had a really great week.” Yeah I bet you have Ben. He is super pumped to see Courtney.
Ben’s smiles are no longer forced. “She wants to discover the culture.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Courtney “feels bad” about the way she treated the other girls. Ben transitions painfully from babytalk to talking about Court’s treatment of the ladyfriends, “you would kind of twist the knife,” he says, and calls what she did “pretty messed up.” Court cries, and says she hopes they can recover.
Here’s how I feel about Courtney. I don’t know if she’s actually a bad person or not. I’m going to go with, probably, she’s not a very nice girl – the way she treated Emily, the way she blatantly gloated after people got sent home, the time she asked Kacie “how did that feel coming out of your mouth?” But either way, the producers made her the MegaBitch of the show. Now, she’s about to maybe win this thing, and they’re starting to change the rules on us. Suddenly it’s time for Courtney to apologize, Ben has “huge doubts and concerns,” etc. Stop manipulating me, Chris Harrison. Just stop.
Courtney asks Ben, how do YOU feel about the Fantasy Suite? Instead of talking on and on like the other women did, while Ben sits there saying “wow” like a robot, she once again forces him to explain his feelings. She should seriously write a book.
BACHELORETTE PREP SESSION/BLATANT AD FOR THE TITANTIC
Only thing I’m going to comment on – didn't Emily lose her fiancé tragically? Must be pretty fun for her to watch this movie. Nice move producers.
KACIE SHOCKINGLY SHOWS UP
Poor Kacie. She is so so nervous and so clearly in love with Ben. She’s sweet and honest and open, and as my friend David say she “has a little crazy in her,” which I personally appreciate. She wants answers. Ben is not interested in giving them. He blames it on the family. She says, actually I’m an independent person and I’m not my family. He doesn’t really know what to say.
This is when Kacie decided, might as well take Courtney down with me. “If you were to chose Courtney you’d get your heart broken.”
This is Ben’s “STFU, she’s a model” face. He just lets her talk on and on and doesn’t say anything. Except, “I don’t know what to say.” He is clearly PISSED. “I can leave,” Kacie says. “I’ll walk you out.” She tells him that she’s sorry. SHE’S SORRY. Ben looks even more pissed and doesn’t say much, just turns and shuts the door. Dammit Kacie, he thinks, I just redeemed Courtney. Why did you have to F it up?
ROSE CEREMONY TIME
When Ben’s pissed, he starts uptalking. “I’m not questioning my feelings? I’m questioning everything?” He deliberates with Chris, decides not to bring Kacie into the rose ceremony (producers are pissed). No one’s surprised that he doesn’t pick Nicki. I may be giving Ben too much credit, but I think that MAYBE, just maybe, he gave Nicki some hint that she wouldn’t get a rose, because she looks really nervous. And even though she’s upset, she handles it with a lot of class. I don’t know, I think I’m probably giving Nicki too little credit.
At least she’s a beautiful crier. That’s like a superpower.
I CANT. WAIT. FOR. WOMEN. TELL. ALL.
See you this time next week!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Check it out: AFed's take on
This, from Ali Fedotowsky's blog, makes me feel a little better about the Fantasy Suites:
Many of you probably assume that the overnight suite is for…well, you know, but that isn’t always the case. It’s different for everyone, and it’s important because it’s the first time you get to talk to each other off camera! And trust me, there are so many things you want to say that you don’t want to be aired on national television. I hope Ben and the ladies got the clarity they needed during that time together because those conversations are some of the most important conversations you’ll have on the show and in some cases, in your life.
Ehhh...no still gross.
Many of you probably assume that the overnight suite is for…well, you know, but that isn’t always the case. It’s different for everyone, and it’s important because it’s the first time you get to talk to each other off camera! And trust me, there are so many things you want to say that you don’t want to be aired on national television. I hope Ben and the ladies got the clarity they needed during that time together because those conversations are some of the most important conversations you’ll have on the show and in some cases, in your life.
Ehhh...no still gross.
Check it out: Ali Fedotowsky's Blog
I love Grantland and especially the Bachelor recaps, it's definitely worth a read! Shoutout to my friend Emily for bringing it to my attention. Here's my fave excerpt:
I don't want to brag, but early interest in my still-theoretical, but soon-to-be-all-too-real consulting firm for aspiring Bachelor contestants has been so positive that I've already reserved the West Hall at the Los Angeles Conference Center (yeah, you read that correctly — the baller hall — we're not playing around) for a very special informational seminar about our invaluable Bachelorette-coaching services. I'll say no more for now, except that we'll be offering a TOTALLY FREE "personal branding" workshop in which we'll teach crucial skills like:
I don't want to brag, but early interest in my still-theoretical, but soon-to-be-all-too-real consulting firm for aspiring Bachelor contestants has been so positive that I've already reserved the West Hall at the Los Angeles Conference Center (yeah, you read that correctly — the baller hall — we're not playing around) for a very special informational seminar about our invaluable Bachelorette-coaching services. I'll say no more for now, except that we'll be offering a TOTALLY FREE "personal branding" workshop in which we'll teach crucial skills like:
- Creatively misspelling your name to stand out from all the other Caseys/Lindsays/Skylars/Britneys and making it easier for the Bachelor to keep you distinct in his mind.
- Erasing "aspiring actress" from the Occupation line on your application and filling in a more respectable alternative like "dental hygienist," "real estate broker," or "executive escort."
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Check it out: Vulture blog
When you're looking at all these Bach blogs after a while it seems like everyone's saying the same thing. Which is why I really liked this blog from Vulture - it actually brought up some useful points!
Before we get into that, though, it is important to mention that Kacie's mom is, like, 30, tops! I don't know what she's putting on her face, but we all deserve to know about it. She looks like a 27-year-old Bushwick hipster who went full-mom at a Tacky Christmas Sweater party.
So, so true. We were all wondering about that when watching the Christmas party. Did she get knocked up at 18 and that's why she's so against living in sin? America wants to know.
You know how sometimes on this show, one of the contestants says that her or his family "wasn't comfortable" with the spotlight, and so he or she takes the Bachelor or Bachelorette back to his or her awesome loft, where they meet their dog or their best friends or something instead? Yeah, Kacie should have done that.
Agreed x 1000. Similarly, this is what I'd do if I was on the show. Not that I don't love my family, but I know my cat would be 100% supportive.
Then it's time to meet the parents, and, as mentioned last week, Courtney's father does indeed look like a generic old white rich guy from an eighties comedy, and he heartily introduces himself as "Rick Roberts." Which is strange, because his daughter's name is Courtney Robertson! I guess maybe there was already a model named Courtney Roberts or something.
Intrigue!
If marriage is the biggest gamble in life, Courtney's fake wedding idea is the biggest contestant gamble in Bachelor history. I mean, she makes Ben write VOWS. And then recite them before a bemused older man of indeterminate religious status. It's basically that thing where the contestants are always wearing white dresses as a "subtle" suggestion to the Bachelor of what they would look like as a bride, but times a thousand. They even drive off in an SUV decorated with "Almost Married." This girl has balls! But when you think about it, Courtney knows Ben is crazy about her and that the only thing holding him back is his worries (planted by the other girls) that she might not be in it to marry him. So having that fake wedding was a genius move on her part.
So true. If anyone else had pulled this shit, she would be labeled "crazy psycho desperate to get married Fatal Attraction-style stalker" but since it's Courtney, it's a genius move.
Be sure to read the rest of the blog - it's an excellent way to entertain yourself on a Thursday morning :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Check it out: Michael Stagliano's blog
I've heard that I should check out Michael Stagliano's blog, and finally I did. I liked a lot of what he had to say...though I didn't appreciate him insinuating a spoiler!!
Anyway, this was my fave:
Anywho. In some bizarre twist of kindness, Courtney plans a pre-wedding. And look, this was crazy sweet and. IT WAS…stop it… it WAS! Though I do remember “seeing” (that’s right… I never “participated”) kids do fake weddings at recess when I was 9 and 10. She explains she did a photo shoot at the location they were at (bridezilla magazine?) and since she saw it, she has always wanted to get married there. Sure. I actually buy it… She pulls out a bow tie, some paper, pens. They walk up to the altar where a man is standing (who must be thinking…ok now, you want me to do WHAT exactly? And the couple is HOW OLD?) and they read their vows. Ben’s were a bit bland if you ask me. It always irks me a bit when people write “poetry or vows” and use words they wouldn’t normally use, for example. Ben says, ” I feel like a better person when I am in your presence.” No one talks like that…including you, Ben…just say, “when I am with you.”
Anyway, this was my fave:
Anywho. In some bizarre twist of kindness, Courtney plans a pre-wedding. And look, this was crazy sweet and. IT WAS…stop it… it WAS! Though I do remember “seeing” (that’s right… I never “participated”) kids do fake weddings at recess when I was 9 and 10. She explains she did a photo shoot at the location they were at (bridezilla magazine?) and since she saw it, she has always wanted to get married there. Sure. I actually buy it… She pulls out a bow tie, some paper, pens. They walk up to the altar where a man is standing (who must be thinking…ok now, you want me to do WHAT exactly? And the couple is HOW OLD?) and they read their vows. Ben’s were a bit bland if you ask me. It always irks me a bit when people write “poetry or vows” and use words they wouldn’t normally use, for example. Ben says, ” I feel like a better person when I am in your presence.” No one talks like that…including you, Ben…just say, “when I am with you.”
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Bachelor Ben - Episode 8
Hometowns are the best…am I right? Everyone’s families put on their best “we’re normal and loving people” faces for the cameras and mayhem (or romance) ensues.
I’ll be honest, this is a tough one to recap. This is when the show actually puts on it’s serious face and gets down to the Business of Love. There’s less ridiculousness, more heartfelt confessions. That being said, let’s get started.
Things start off on a positive note with Lindzi. Her parents are really cute and her dad makes a lot of cheesy jokes which is pretty sweet.
Side note: Can I just say really quickly that I mean no harm in talking about people’s families on here. I know that can be a touchy subject. Every family has its quirks and issues – because unfortunately families are made up of human beings. Unless you have 30 cats and call them your “babies.” Which I am not above doing. So, on the extremely slim chance that anyone from any of these families happens to read this and is offended, I apologize.
Ok back to judging people! I think it’s fair to say that Lindzi’s family is pretttty loaded. And as I learned from the internet (so it must be true and up for psychological analysis) Benny Booboobear grew up pretty wealthy himself. Both families even have genteel professions – winemaker? Horse farm? Is this “Under the Tuscan Sun”? I don’t even know what that meant. But anyway, Ben is really at home with this family, because they seem like they came from the same background he did. Also, they don’t challenge him – they like him instantly.
Permission to marry Lindzi: Pretty much given.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): Definitely a solid 9.
Annnnd now it’s time for Kacie. Couldn’t go more differently. Ben shows up at the high school field named after her grandfather and sees a marching band with Kacie twirling her baton at the center of it all. Strike 1 for “Kacie’s too young for this.” Kacie then tells Ben in an offhand way that her dad is a parole officer, he is not going to be supportive of this whole “finding love on TV thing,” and he doesn’t drink. I’m from Tennessee, so I can state for the record that that is a bit much. That’s not an especially normal thing, y’all. Even for Tennessee. See how I used y’all there? This guy is going to be tough.
He doesn’t disappoint. There’s clearly some tension between Kacie and her parents already, and if I were her I would have had some Real Talk with him before the meeting and explained that even though I expected my parents to be Debbie Downers, to not take it personally and know that I’m independent from them.
Kacie’s family, especially compared to Lindzi’s, is a culture shock for Ben. Their solidly middle class life in Tennessee is very different from his more glamorous upbringing, and he has no idea how to communicate with the Southerners when they bring up “traditional values.” Ben doesn’t help himself by saying that “Kacie has surprised me” and “I have feelings for the other ladies.” His hair also looks really bad.
Kacie’s mom drops the bomb that she does not want them to live together before getting married. She comes off really rigid. SHOCKINGLY Ben does not react especially well to be challenged by Kacie’s parents. The bickering with her parents make Kacie look younger. Game over for Kacie.
Permission to marry Kacie: Um…not given.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): It’s bad. I’d say about a 2.
Nicki time. “He’s the best man I’ve ever met.” Statements like that make me sad, especially when I think about Ben skinny dipping covertly with Courtney but playng the innocent card the rest of the time. How can he call him a “good man” when he didn’t really listen to her advice about Courtney?
I just love Nicki. While Lindzi’s enthusiasm just wears me out, Nicki’s is so sweet and genuine that it just puts me in a better mood. I believe her when she says she didn’t give up on her first marriage, and at the same time I think it’s impressive that she realized that the marriage wasn’t working and decided to get out, instead of just staying miserable.
Unlike Kacie, Nicki says off the bat that she wouldn’t be able to marry Ben without her family’s approval. After some pretttty cute gal chatting time with her mom, Nicki talks about what a good man Ben is once again, and what a good husband he would be. It’s so hard to watch how happy Nicki is – maybe she’ll be the one there when it’s all over, but I doubt it, and I hate for her to get hurt.
Oh man, time for the dad talk. Nicki’s dad is old fashioned in the best kind of way. He worries that maybe he should have questioned Nicki more before giving her his blessing on her first marriage. Oh he is just too sweet. He starts to cry. Ok can’t watch…something in my eye…hmmm hmmm…moving on.
Nicki’s family’s support makes Ben see Nicki in a new light. He makes a big comment, “today there were moments when I looked over at Nicki and thought, I love this girl.” The thing is, I think he loves her family. “I think Nicki could make me happy, for the rest of my life.” What about wanting to make her happy? Ugh sigh.
Permission to marry Nicki: Yes, as long as she’s sure.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): They hit it out of the park - 10.
Alright time for Courtney. Saving the best for last I see. I just cannot make myself watch this again. But I will. For you people.
Courtney says she’s really happy to be away from the girls, and she’s thought about the way her interactions with them affected her relationships with Ben. So she’s sorry. Aka, she realizes that it’s necessary for her to say this for us to not hate her. WRONG AGAIN COURTNEY.
“It would be hard for me to be with someone that rubbed people the wrong way,” Ben says. Insert obvious joke here.
Courtney’s dad reminds me of a politician – Joe Biden perhaps? Courtney’s mom is sweet, but I agreed with what Trista Sutter tweeted – it seems like Courtney kind of looks down on her parents, like she does the rest of the girls. She has a very hard time giving seeing other people on her level – even Ben, it seems like. Case in point: “If he keeps it up, I’ll be ready to say yes when he proposes.” That’s a lot different from the giddy love we see from Kacie, Lindzi and especially Nicki.
Time for the weirdest part of the show. Courtney decides to tell Ben that she loves him…by creating a fake wedding? That he has to write vows for. BIZARRE. But that goes without saying. It’s pretty genius though, because it forces Ben to put his own feelings into words, instead of just sitting back and listening to the women tell him how much they love him, which is what happened at the first 3 visits.
If you want to read something that will truly do this travesty justice, you have to read this piece on Grantland - The Bachelor Tape Study: How Courtney the Model Engineered the Ultimate Practice Wedding. I’ll just sum it up for you: bitch is crazy. Crazy like a FOX.
Permission to marry Courtney: Umm…yeah?
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): Eh I’d give it a middle range – 5.
Rose ceremony time. Ben boots off baby Kacie, which is really sad – her screaming fit in the limo is really, really hard to watch because it’s so real. Oh, sad. Sorry team, this is the worst recap ever. My apologies. The Bachelor has beaten the snark out of me.
I’ll be honest, this is a tough one to recap. This is when the show actually puts on it’s serious face and gets down to the Business of Love. There’s less ridiculousness, more heartfelt confessions. That being said, let’s get started.
Things start off on a positive note with Lindzi. Her parents are really cute and her dad makes a lot of cheesy jokes which is pretty sweet.
Side note: Can I just say really quickly that I mean no harm in talking about people’s families on here. I know that can be a touchy subject. Every family has its quirks and issues – because unfortunately families are made up of human beings. Unless you have 30 cats and call them your “babies.” Which I am not above doing. So, on the extremely slim chance that anyone from any of these families happens to read this and is offended, I apologize.
Ok back to judging people! I think it’s fair to say that Lindzi’s family is pretttty loaded. And as I learned from the internet (so it must be true and up for psychological analysis) Benny Booboobear grew up pretty wealthy himself. Both families even have genteel professions – winemaker? Horse farm? Is this “Under the Tuscan Sun”? I don’t even know what that meant. But anyway, Ben is really at home with this family, because they seem like they came from the same background he did. Also, they don’t challenge him – they like him instantly.
Permission to marry Lindzi: Pretty much given.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): Definitely a solid 9.
Annnnd now it’s time for Kacie. Couldn’t go more differently. Ben shows up at the high school field named after her grandfather and sees a marching band with Kacie twirling her baton at the center of it all. Strike 1 for “Kacie’s too young for this.” Kacie then tells Ben in an offhand way that her dad is a parole officer, he is not going to be supportive of this whole “finding love on TV thing,” and he doesn’t drink. I’m from Tennessee, so I can state for the record that that is a bit much. That’s not an especially normal thing, y’all. Even for Tennessee. See how I used y’all there? This guy is going to be tough.
He doesn’t disappoint. There’s clearly some tension between Kacie and her parents already, and if I were her I would have had some Real Talk with him before the meeting and explained that even though I expected my parents to be Debbie Downers, to not take it personally and know that I’m independent from them.
Kacie’s family, especially compared to Lindzi’s, is a culture shock for Ben. Their solidly middle class life in Tennessee is very different from his more glamorous upbringing, and he has no idea how to communicate with the Southerners when they bring up “traditional values.” Ben doesn’t help himself by saying that “Kacie has surprised me” and “I have feelings for the other ladies.” His hair also looks really bad.
Kacie’s mom drops the bomb that she does not want them to live together before getting married. She comes off really rigid. SHOCKINGLY Ben does not react especially well to be challenged by Kacie’s parents. The bickering with her parents make Kacie look younger. Game over for Kacie.
Permission to marry Kacie: Um…not given.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): It’s bad. I’d say about a 2.
Nicki time. “He’s the best man I’ve ever met.” Statements like that make me sad, especially when I think about Ben skinny dipping covertly with Courtney but playng the innocent card the rest of the time. How can he call him a “good man” when he didn’t really listen to her advice about Courtney?
I just love Nicki. While Lindzi’s enthusiasm just wears me out, Nicki’s is so sweet and genuine that it just puts me in a better mood. I believe her when she says she didn’t give up on her first marriage, and at the same time I think it’s impressive that she realized that the marriage wasn’t working and decided to get out, instead of just staying miserable.
Unlike Kacie, Nicki says off the bat that she wouldn’t be able to marry Ben without her family’s approval. After some pretttty cute gal chatting time with her mom, Nicki talks about what a good man Ben is once again, and what a good husband he would be. It’s so hard to watch how happy Nicki is – maybe she’ll be the one there when it’s all over, but I doubt it, and I hate for her to get hurt.
Oh man, time for the dad talk. Nicki’s dad is old fashioned in the best kind of way. He worries that maybe he should have questioned Nicki more before giving her his blessing on her first marriage. Oh he is just too sweet. He starts to cry. Ok can’t watch…something in my eye…hmmm hmmm…moving on.
Nicki’s family’s support makes Ben see Nicki in a new light. He makes a big comment, “today there were moments when I looked over at Nicki and thought, I love this girl.” The thing is, I think he loves her family. “I think Nicki could make me happy, for the rest of my life.” What about wanting to make her happy? Ugh sigh.
Permission to marry Nicki: Yes, as long as she’s sure.
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): They hit it out of the park - 10.
Alright time for Courtney. Saving the best for last I see. I just cannot make myself watch this again. But I will. For you people.
Courtney says she’s really happy to be away from the girls, and she’s thought about the way her interactions with them affected her relationships with Ben. So she’s sorry. Aka, she realizes that it’s necessary for her to say this for us to not hate her. WRONG AGAIN COURTNEY.
“It would be hard for me to be with someone that rubbed people the wrong way,” Ben says. Insert obvious joke here.
Courtney’s dad reminds me of a politician – Joe Biden perhaps? Courtney’s mom is sweet, but I agreed with what Trista Sutter tweeted – it seems like Courtney kind of looks down on her parents, like she does the rest of the girls. She has a very hard time giving seeing other people on her level – even Ben, it seems like. Case in point: “If he keeps it up, I’ll be ready to say yes when he proposes.” That’s a lot different from the giddy love we see from Kacie, Lindzi and especially Nicki.
Time for the weirdest part of the show. Courtney decides to tell Ben that she loves him…by creating a fake wedding? That he has to write vows for. BIZARRE. But that goes without saying. It’s pretty genius though, because it forces Ben to put his own feelings into words, instead of just sitting back and listening to the women tell him how much they love him, which is what happened at the first 3 visits.
If you want to read something that will truly do this travesty justice, you have to read this piece on Grantland - The Bachelor Tape Study: How Courtney the Model Engineered the Ultimate Practice Wedding. I’ll just sum it up for you: bitch is crazy. Crazy like a FOX.
Permission to marry Courtney: Umm…yeah?
Good feeling upon leaving (1-10): Eh I’d give it a middle range – 5.
Rose ceremony time. Ben boots off baby Kacie, which is really sad – her screaming fit in the limo is really, really hard to watch because it’s so real. Oh, sad. Sorry team, this is the worst recap ever. My apologies. The Bachelor has beaten the snark out of me.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Bachelor Ben - Episode 7
Must. Keep eyes. Open.
It’s been a long day. Between heart shaped pizzas and a few glasses of wine I’m ready for a big ole nap. But let’s do this Bach thing, shall we?
Welcome to BELIZEEEE! Can we please pick a locale that doesn’t make everyone’s hair (except for Courtney, who clearly sold her soul to the devil) look so terrible? Like…Norway? Somewhere without humidity. Get on that producers.
This week there will be 3 one-on-ones, no roses, and a group date WITH a rose. This is the last episode before HOMETOWNS, and you know what that means. Next week will be filled with awkward dads signing off on their daughters marrying some rando from TV and Lindzi shrieking around horses. Oh snap just gave that away. Oh well.
Lindzi gets the first one-on-one. Ben shows up to get her in a tacky tank top. It is not a good look. Nikki is crying. They take off in a Helicopter of Love and get ready to do the thing Lindzi clearly listed as her Greatest Fear: Jump out of the helicopter in the ocean. Oddly specific, but we’ll go with it. Lindzi is freaking the F out and does not want to jump, and Ben seems a wee bit irritated…why is she showing emotions?? Didn’t he request that each and every woman he graced with his presence “go with the flow”? Anyway, she jumps. Billions of "jumping into love" metaphors ensue.
Timeout: Why are the Bachelor dates so much more centered around daredevil stunts than the Bachelorette dates? Is it because the women bond to the Bachelor faster if they feel like he’s “protecting” them? Is it because the Bachelors like to test the women and see if they are low maintenance, laid back types (never realized that this was such a high standard that men set but it’s been pretty important for both Ben and Brad…hmm…). It seems like their assumption is that the more down a woman is for leaping blindly into a black pit of doom, the more likely she is to be an easygoing, emotion-free wife. You know what I call people who do ridiculous things like jump out of helicopters or hold tarantulas (Courtney) without fear? I call them stupid. There I said it. Fear is a sign of intelligence. Moving on.
They go to dinner, sit awkwardly on some blankets on a pier, Lindzi thinks she’s not SURE sure she wants Ben to meet her parents (are they horses?) but then she comes around. Ben: I could see the rest of my life with this woman etc etc she’s so laid back etc etc SCENE.
Next date card: Emily. Courtney is PISSED. I mean, come on, this is the girl who DID HER WRONG, amiright? It’s pretty clear that Courtney is a VICTIM of all of this. It’s not like Courtney has ever said ANYTHING nasty about Emily. Or, god forbid, Emily has never apologized to Court…OH WAIT. Anyway, Courtney cries. America feels uncomfortable, does she have feelings? Is she on her period? Why does she do that weird thing with her mouth? She claims that if she doesn’t get the next date card, she won’t accept a rose from Ben. The producers take note.
Emily and Ben go bike riding and then catch lobsters together. The fake enthusiasm Emily is projecting is almost as irritating as Ben’s frizzy hair and sense of superiority. Emily apologizes AGAIN about Courtney, she and Ben make out on the dance floor and look really cute and drunk. God his hair is awful. “I could see myself loving this woman.” Hmm…
Date card comes. Lo and behold, it’s time for Courtney to go on a one-on-one. She is just saying craaaazy things around the other girls. “You would think if he was like crazy about me he would give me a date card. It’s about time! He hasn’t forgotten about me. He’s a smart boy, he listens!” Kacie is PISSED…and she makes a “bitch!” filled rant that makes me loves me even more. Which probably means that Ben is going to send her home next.
Time for Court’s date. GRRR this girl irritates me. “I need more and he knows that.” WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Except that it totally works. She reels Ben in like that fish in Utah. They hike up the temple and Courtney rants a bit more about Emily. “I had a really tough day yesterday. I was bummed out. Am I going to get a one-on-one date? I wasn’t going to accept a rose from you. I felt so good about you in the beginning…but now I haven’t felt that spark.”
TIMEOUT: If ANY other girl have the balls to say this to Ben, she would be sent packing faster than you can say “Flajnik.” But Courtney plays it so well…giving (skinny dipping, monopolizing him on group dates) and then taking away (“I’ve lost the spark babe”). Ben looks like a sad crushed puppy dog, and tries desperately to reassure Courtney and goes on and on about how much he wants her to stay. He gives her an oral commitment that he wants to meet her family. They canoodle on top of the Mayan pyramid (definitely not sacrilegious) and they are SO snuggly.
“Today’s group date is really special – I’m waking the women up at 4:00 AM.” What follows is far and away my favorite thing that happened this episode…all the girls FRANTICALLY shaving before their date on the beach. Love it.
Group date is…swimming with SHARKS. Rachel is freeaking out. Shockingly Ben does not seem to find this super attractive. Ben explains that if the sharks get aggressive they should hit them in the nose. I hate his voice. So condescending. Bleh.
After party. Rachel tells Ben that she is ready to take him home to her family. He makes a noise like AUGHHHH and then ATTACKS her face like a shark on a piece of chum. Clearly Ben’s go-to move when he’s not sure what to say. Also known in many circles as a “dick move.” Nikki tells Ben that’s she’s really glad she told him that she’s falling in love with him, but unfortunately she’s overshadowed by the other love-drunk puppy – Kacie. She tells Ben she’s falling in love with him and he gives her a drunk smile and kisses her. She giddily says that this is all she needs. She gets the rose. Oh Kacie, I love you, but he said a lot more to Courtney and she just barely deigned to invite him home.
“We want you to be happy, and it’s hard to not say something when we see someone act so differently around us than she does around you,” Nikki says. In his sweetest voice Ben says, “well I’d like to hear it!” Oh WOULD you Ben? You’re not going to tell them to “be careful” and “tread lightly?” They tell him Courtney is two-faced, he’s concerned, but mostly because he thinks she might be lying to him about being into him. Not that, you know, she’s may or may not be a bad person.
Rose ceremony time. Each woman admits to being nervous. But not Courtney! She’s sucking down her pina colada – “I’m feeling good! Let’s lighten the mood! Don’t think the worst – the glass is half-full! Ben’s not the only guy in the world!”
Emily: “Did she SAY he’s NOT the only guy in the world?” The horror.
Chris Harrison: No cocktail party, time for the rose ceremony. Rachel’s already crying, this does not bode well.
DRAMZ – Ben lines up the girls, then steals Courtney away for a moment. Um, what’s the point in skipping the rose ceremony if you’re just going to have more chit chat? Court says she’s been nothing but honest and open and answers Ben’s questions about her “intentions” quickly and defensively.
Nikki is called first. Lindzi is next. DRAMZ TIME. Rachel, Emily or Courtney? Ben deliberates. Annnd it’s…Courtney! She skips forward like a 4 year old and accepts his rose. She shouts “see ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!” at Emily’s back as she leaves. REALLY? Ugh Ben you deserve this ho.
NEXT WEEK: HOMETOWNS! See ya! Would want to be ya! I mean I assume, I don’t know your life.
It’s been a long day. Between heart shaped pizzas and a few glasses of wine I’m ready for a big ole nap. But let’s do this Bach thing, shall we?
Welcome to BELIZEEEE! Can we please pick a locale that doesn’t make everyone’s hair (except for Courtney, who clearly sold her soul to the devil) look so terrible? Like…Norway? Somewhere without humidity. Get on that producers.
This week there will be 3 one-on-ones, no roses, and a group date WITH a rose. This is the last episode before HOMETOWNS, and you know what that means. Next week will be filled with awkward dads signing off on their daughters marrying some rando from TV and Lindzi shrieking around horses. Oh snap just gave that away. Oh well.
Lindzi gets the first one-on-one. Ben shows up to get her in a tacky tank top. It is not a good look. Nikki is crying. They take off in a Helicopter of Love and get ready to do the thing Lindzi clearly listed as her Greatest Fear: Jump out of the helicopter in the ocean. Oddly specific, but we’ll go with it. Lindzi is freaking the F out and does not want to jump, and Ben seems a wee bit irritated…why is she showing emotions?? Didn’t he request that each and every woman he graced with his presence “go with the flow”? Anyway, she jumps. Billions of "jumping into love" metaphors ensue.
Timeout: Why are the Bachelor dates so much more centered around daredevil stunts than the Bachelorette dates? Is it because the women bond to the Bachelor faster if they feel like he’s “protecting” them? Is it because the Bachelors like to test the women and see if they are low maintenance, laid back types (never realized that this was such a high standard that men set but it’s been pretty important for both Ben and Brad…hmm…). It seems like their assumption is that the more down a woman is for leaping blindly into a black pit of doom, the more likely she is to be an easygoing, emotion-free wife. You know what I call people who do ridiculous things like jump out of helicopters or hold tarantulas (Courtney) without fear? I call them stupid. There I said it. Fear is a sign of intelligence. Moving on.
They go to dinner, sit awkwardly on some blankets on a pier, Lindzi thinks she’s not SURE sure she wants Ben to meet her parents (are they horses?) but then she comes around. Ben: I could see the rest of my life with this woman etc etc she’s so laid back etc etc SCENE.
Next date card: Emily. Courtney is PISSED. I mean, come on, this is the girl who DID HER WRONG, amiright? It’s pretty clear that Courtney is a VICTIM of all of this. It’s not like Courtney has ever said ANYTHING nasty about Emily. Or, god forbid, Emily has never apologized to Court…OH WAIT. Anyway, Courtney cries. America feels uncomfortable, does she have feelings? Is she on her period? Why does she do that weird thing with her mouth? She claims that if she doesn’t get the next date card, she won’t accept a rose from Ben. The producers take note.
Emily and Ben go bike riding and then catch lobsters together. The fake enthusiasm Emily is projecting is almost as irritating as Ben’s frizzy hair and sense of superiority. Emily apologizes AGAIN about Courtney, she and Ben make out on the dance floor and look really cute and drunk. God his hair is awful. “I could see myself loving this woman.” Hmm…
Date card comes. Lo and behold, it’s time for Courtney to go on a one-on-one. She is just saying craaaazy things around the other girls. “You would think if he was like crazy about me he would give me a date card. It’s about time! He hasn’t forgotten about me. He’s a smart boy, he listens!” Kacie is PISSED…and she makes a “bitch!” filled rant that makes me loves me even more. Which probably means that Ben is going to send her home next.
Time for Court’s date. GRRR this girl irritates me. “I need more and he knows that.” WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Except that it totally works. She reels Ben in like that fish in Utah. They hike up the temple and Courtney rants a bit more about Emily. “I had a really tough day yesterday. I was bummed out. Am I going to get a one-on-one date? I wasn’t going to accept a rose from you. I felt so good about you in the beginning…but now I haven’t felt that spark.”
TIMEOUT: If ANY other girl have the balls to say this to Ben, she would be sent packing faster than you can say “Flajnik.” But Courtney plays it so well…giving (skinny dipping, monopolizing him on group dates) and then taking away (“I’ve lost the spark babe”). Ben looks like a sad crushed puppy dog, and tries desperately to reassure Courtney and goes on and on about how much he wants her to stay. He gives her an oral commitment that he wants to meet her family. They canoodle on top of the Mayan pyramid (definitely not sacrilegious) and they are SO snuggly.
“Today’s group date is really special – I’m waking the women up at 4:00 AM.” What follows is far and away my favorite thing that happened this episode…all the girls FRANTICALLY shaving before their date on the beach. Love it.
Group date is…swimming with SHARKS. Rachel is freeaking out. Shockingly Ben does not seem to find this super attractive. Ben explains that if the sharks get aggressive they should hit them in the nose. I hate his voice. So condescending. Bleh.
After party. Rachel tells Ben that she is ready to take him home to her family. He makes a noise like AUGHHHH and then ATTACKS her face like a shark on a piece of chum. Clearly Ben’s go-to move when he’s not sure what to say. Also known in many circles as a “dick move.” Nikki tells Ben that’s she’s really glad she told him that she’s falling in love with him, but unfortunately she’s overshadowed by the other love-drunk puppy – Kacie. She tells Ben she’s falling in love with him and he gives her a drunk smile and kisses her. She giddily says that this is all she needs. She gets the rose. Oh Kacie, I love you, but he said a lot more to Courtney and she just barely deigned to invite him home.
“We want you to be happy, and it’s hard to not say something when we see someone act so differently around us than she does around you,” Nikki says. In his sweetest voice Ben says, “well I’d like to hear it!” Oh WOULD you Ben? You’re not going to tell them to “be careful” and “tread lightly?” They tell him Courtney is two-faced, he’s concerned, but mostly because he thinks she might be lying to him about being into him. Not that, you know, she’s may or may not be a bad person.
Rose ceremony time. Each woman admits to being nervous. But not Courtney! She’s sucking down her pina colada – “I’m feeling good! Let’s lighten the mood! Don’t think the worst – the glass is half-full! Ben’s not the only guy in the world!”
Emily: “Did she SAY he’s NOT the only guy in the world?” The horror.
Chris Harrison: No cocktail party, time for the rose ceremony. Rachel’s already crying, this does not bode well.
DRAMZ – Ben lines up the girls, then steals Courtney away for a moment. Um, what’s the point in skipping the rose ceremony if you’re just going to have more chit chat? Court says she’s been nothing but honest and open and answers Ben’s questions about her “intentions” quickly and defensively.
Nikki is called first. Lindzi is next. DRAMZ TIME. Rachel, Emily or Courtney? Ben deliberates. Annnd it’s…Courtney! She skips forward like a 4 year old and accepts his rose. She shouts “see ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!” at Emily’s back as she leaves. REALLY? Ugh Ben you deserve this ho.
NEXT WEEK: HOMETOWNS! See ya! Would want to be ya! I mean I assume, I don’t know your life.
Check it out: Ali's made her picks
Per usual, Ali's blog is awesome. She seems to really think it's going to be Courtney and Lindzi in the final 2:
Ben is super into Courtney and it’s pretty obvious that at this point he only wants to be on dates with her (and maybe one other girl…Lindzi?). When they started their one-on-one date, Ben told Courtney “I’m sorry it took so long to get you on another one of these.” This is exactly the kind of thing I used to say to the guys I really liked on my season. It was even more clear to me that Courtney is at least in the top two when Ben said, “I like you and I’m amazed that you’ve been able to hang on. It’s hard for me not to be able to console you and tell you everything is going to be okay.” That’s almost verbatim what I used to say to Frank when he would get concerned about the “process.” Roberto was pretty good about hanging in there, but Frank always had concerns about my feelings for him. And I’d say things like that to assure him that he was in it for the long haul because I knew from the beginning that he’d be around for a while, and I think Ben has known that about Courtney since the very beginning too.
She also ended with a tempting tidbit:
P.S. After tonight, I don’t think Courtney will be the last one standing. I’ll explain more next week.
Can't wait!
Ben is super into Courtney and it’s pretty obvious that at this point he only wants to be on dates with her (and maybe one other girl…Lindzi?). When they started their one-on-one date, Ben told Courtney “I’m sorry it took so long to get you on another one of these.” This is exactly the kind of thing I used to say to the guys I really liked on my season. It was even more clear to me that Courtney is at least in the top two when Ben said, “I like you and I’m amazed that you’ve been able to hang on. It’s hard for me not to be able to console you and tell you everything is going to be okay.” That’s almost verbatim what I used to say to Frank when he would get concerned about the “process.” Roberto was pretty good about hanging in there, but Frank always had concerns about my feelings for him. And I’d say things like that to assure him that he was in it for the long haul because I knew from the beginning that he’d be around for a while, and I think Ben has known that about Courtney since the very beginning too.
She also ended with a tempting tidbit:
P.S. After tonight, I don’t think Courtney will be the last one standing. I’ll explain more next week.
Can't wait!
Check it out: Jillian Harris drops some truth bombs
Jillian Harris is getting philosophical on us, y'all. Check out her blog. My faves:
This week I was reflecting on my journey as I was watching, and I remembered being totally ga-ga for my final four guys. The interesting thing is, I don’t really see that from Ben. Maybe he’s just really good at hiding his emotions, or maybe the right girl just isn’t there for him. Personally, I don’t see him falling for anyone at this point- I see that look of love when the girls look at him, but I don’t see it from Ben… what do you think?
I think....that Ben clearly falls in love easily (see: Ashley, plus the other 5 girls he claims to have "fallen in love with") and I think that he probably feels like he's "falling in love" with Courtney, Kacie, and maybe even Lyndzi. I don't think it's especially lasting love though.
The more I watch this season, the more I get into it, but at the end of the day, if you ask me, it doesn’t really matter who Ben picks. Speaking from experience, he will be fine regardless. Things will evolve, hopefully he’ll stay friends with the other girls from the show (as I’ve done) and things will work out for him when the timing is right. Viewers tend to forget that the people on the show are not the only people in the world, but the truth is Ben’s gal might not be there! That’s fine! This is entertainment, and like any other show there has to be a climax- that’s what the ring and engagement are for.
Dang Jillian. Real talk here! I like it! Completely agree too.
This week I was reflecting on my journey as I was watching, and I remembered being totally ga-ga for my final four guys. The interesting thing is, I don’t really see that from Ben. Maybe he’s just really good at hiding his emotions, or maybe the right girl just isn’t there for him. Personally, I don’t see him falling for anyone at this point- I see that look of love when the girls look at him, but I don’t see it from Ben… what do you think?
I think....that Ben clearly falls in love easily (see: Ashley, plus the other 5 girls he claims to have "fallen in love with") and I think that he probably feels like he's "falling in love" with Courtney, Kacie, and maybe even Lyndzi. I don't think it's especially lasting love though.
The more I watch this season, the more I get into it, but at the end of the day, if you ask me, it doesn’t really matter who Ben picks. Speaking from experience, he will be fine regardless. Things will evolve, hopefully he’ll stay friends with the other girls from the show (as I’ve done) and things will work out for him when the timing is right. Viewers tend to forget that the people on the show are not the only people in the world, but the truth is Ben’s gal might not be there! That’s fine! This is entertainment, and like any other show there has to be a climax- that’s what the ring and engagement are for.
Dang Jillian. Real talk here! I like it! Completely agree too.
My recap!
Because I know you're DYING to read it (right? right??) I wanted to let you know that I won't post my recap until later tonight. I hosted a very fun Galentines Day party last night, but kept getting distracted by huge cookies covered in icing and chatting with ladyfriends, so I'm going to watch it again tonight and write my recap after that. As Aerosmith so wisely said, I don't wanna miss a thaa-ang. Follow me on twitter for more updates until then!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Check it out: Knotty Bride blog part 2
Oh man. The Knotty Bride got this week started out RIGHT. I had way too many favorite excerpts from her Part 2 from last week, so these are the creme de la creme:
Her reaction to Blakeley's scrapbook:
First Rule of Date Club is you don’t make him a scrapbook. Second rule: if you couldn’t help yourself and you went ahead and made that scrapbook we told you not to make, for chrissake don’t f**king SHOW HIM THE THING. Third rule: did you show it to him? You’re out of Date Club. You don’t get to date people anymore.
On Ben dumping Blakeley:
When Ben gives Rachel the rose, Blakeley almost immediately blacks out from her sadness and then sleepwalks out of the restaurant hoping to escape any continued sadness potential. Best thing she could have done, in my opinion. Just GTFO of there, stat. But she’s obviously forgotten who she’s dealing with; Ben doesn’t let you off the hook so quickly. He is in Panama as a missionary, having given his life for the greater cause of Ending Things Badly.
BEN: “Blakely, could you just– Blak–Blakely, could–could you slow down… could you just….. could you just go with the flow? GOD I appreciate it when women do that, instead of have emotions. I can’t risk being with a woman who has convictions that could get in the way of her devotion to me and little 3 inch Ben-icio WAIT WHAT, I MEAN WHAT, I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING, WHAT, WHO WHAT? HAHAHAHAH JUST KIDDING HEY LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOTHING’S WRONG WITH MY PEEN.
And finally, an excellent concept for a new show:
Forget Bachelor Pad; I feel ABC needs to get some kind of Bachelor Group Therapy show in R&D. I think I’d watch that. Like, willingly. (By “R&D” I mean Rent another mansion and Dump these girls inside with Dr. Drew Pinsky… or me. And I’d like to get that Honey Boo Boo Child in the mix, too. I feel she’s probably at about the same point in emotional development as a few of these women so might as well kill two birds, y’know?)
Her reaction to Blakeley's scrapbook:
First Rule of Date Club is you don’t make him a scrapbook. Second rule: if you couldn’t help yourself and you went ahead and made that scrapbook we told you not to make, for chrissake don’t f**king SHOW HIM THE THING. Third rule: did you show it to him? You’re out of Date Club. You don’t get to date people anymore.
On Ben dumping Blakeley:
When Ben gives Rachel the rose, Blakeley almost immediately blacks out from her sadness and then sleepwalks out of the restaurant hoping to escape any continued sadness potential. Best thing she could have done, in my opinion. Just GTFO of there, stat. But she’s obviously forgotten who she’s dealing with; Ben doesn’t let you off the hook so quickly. He is in Panama as a missionary, having given his life for the greater cause of Ending Things Badly.
BEN: “Blakely, could you just– Blak–Blakely, could–could you slow down… could you just….. could you just go with the flow? GOD I appreciate it when women do that, instead of have emotions. I can’t risk being with a woman who has convictions that could get in the way of her devotion to me and little 3 inch Ben-icio WAIT WHAT, I MEAN WHAT, I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING, WHAT, WHO WHAT? HAHAHAHAH JUST KIDDING HEY LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOTHING’S WRONG WITH MY PEEN.
And finally, an excellent concept for a new show:
Forget Bachelor Pad; I feel ABC needs to get some kind of Bachelor Group Therapy show in R&D. I think I’d watch that. Like, willingly. (By “R&D” I mean Rent another mansion and Dump these girls inside with Dr. Drew Pinsky… or me. And I’d like to get that Honey Boo Boo Child in the mix, too. I feel she’s probably at about the same point in emotional development as a few of these women so might as well kill two birds, y’know?)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Check it out: Knotty Bride bloggy
The Knotty Bride Bach blog is always awsome...and this week she broke it into 2 parts so that the fun could just keep going. After this incredibly long week I am very thankful for that. There are my fave parts:
So it’s business as usual, I see. Aright, sounds good, let’s keep on breaking those hearts with that excessive force of yours, Ben. You’re doing it right!
Today, Kacie B unsuckled herself from her mother’s teet, and stepped out into adulthood. You guys I’m so prouda her! Taking her first steps! Awwww, MY WHITTLES, I KNOW EVERYBODY THINKS THEIR BABY IS A GENIUS, BUT YOU ARE REALLY A GENIUS.
BEN: “My date with Kacie B was very fun, she… goes with the flow, and GOD, do I appreciate it.” So true. They’re really so hard to fiiiiiind; these aggressively passive, sedated girls without goals of their own… right Ben? Or I’m just kidding and they’re actually everywhere you turn, just close your eyes and point. See, this is where I don’t get why you haven’t found love already. The only legitimate reason would be that you’re a vapid soulless human being who never learned what it is to be empathic and on a scale of 1 to 10 on the scale of human evolution you’re at about a 3.5 = juuuust starting to stand up and walk/make fire.
So it’s business as usual, I see. Aright, sounds good, let’s keep on breaking those hearts with that excessive force of yours, Ben. You’re doing it right!
Today, Kacie B unsuckled herself from her mother’s teet, and stepped out into adulthood. You guys I’m so prouda her! Taking her first steps! Awwww, MY WHITTLES, I KNOW EVERYBODY THINKS THEIR BABY IS A GENIUS, BUT YOU ARE REALLY A GENIUS.
BEN: “My date with Kacie B was very fun, she… goes with the flow, and GOD, do I appreciate it.” So true. They’re really so hard to fiiiiiind; these aggressively passive, sedated girls without goals of their own… right Ben? Or I’m just kidding and they’re actually everywhere you turn, just close your eyes and point. See, this is where I don’t get why you haven’t found love already. The only legitimate reason would be that you’re a vapid soulless human being who never learned what it is to be empathic and on a scale of 1 to 10 on the scale of human evolution you’re at about a 3.5 = juuuust starting to stand up and walk/make fire.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Check it out: Ashley Spivey gets fancy!
OH man. I feel bad that I'm just now getting to this, but it's awesome per usual, so be sure to check out Ashley Spivey's "Say no to Cosmo" blog. My faves:
At dinner, Kacie tells Ben a powerful story from her past. For a year she struggled with an eating disorder but it has made her a stronger person. Ben looked like this picture for a majority of the conversation.
I agree! I felt like he was totally zoning out for this convo.
This was DEFINITELY my favorite screenshot:
Ben really likes when girls do what he tells them to do so he decides to reward Emily with some tongue!
Preach!
And finally, I'll leave you with this:
At dinner, Kacie tells Ben a powerful story from her past. For a year she struggled with an eating disorder but it has made her a stronger person. Ben looked like this picture for a majority of the conversation.
I agree! I felt like he was totally zoning out for this convo.
This was DEFINITELY my favorite screenshot:
Ben really likes when girls do what he tells them to do so he decides to reward Emily with some tongue!
Preach!
And finally, I'll leave you with this:
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Check it out: Interview with Chris Harrison
Oh Chris Harrison. You're the best.
First gem:
As Courtney says, these group dates are like one-on-one dates for her. I know it's rubbing everyone the wrong way, but it's rubbing Ben the right way.
Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's happening. All I'm going to say about that.
Was it awkward telling Casey S. she had to go home?
Harrison: The whole point with her was that I didn't want it to be confrontational. In no way was it a Bentley or Rozlyn thing, where she had come on to deceive. Through talking to the girls and hearing from the boyfriend [it was apparent] she was in love with this guy [at home] and she really just came to the realization on the show. I think she came on the show to try to get over this guy, but it just didn't work.
Hmmm...so the "girls" help out Casey and her love-lorn ways? Interestinggg.
Check it out here.
First gem:
As Courtney says, these group dates are like one-on-one dates for her. I know it's rubbing everyone the wrong way, but it's rubbing Ben the right way.
Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's happening. All I'm going to say about that.
Was it awkward telling Casey S. she had to go home?
Harrison: The whole point with her was that I didn't want it to be confrontational. In no way was it a Bentley or Rozlyn thing, where she had come on to deceive. Through talking to the girls and hearing from the boyfriend [it was apparent] she was in love with this guy [at home] and she really just came to the realization on the show. I think she came on the show to try to get over this guy, but it just didn't work.
Hmmm...so the "girls" help out Casey and her love-lorn ways? Interestinggg.
Check it out here.
Check it out: Ben's blog
I promise I'm not trying to be unfair to old Benny boo boo. But I just have a hard time thinking that he wrote this blog post himself.
Exhibit A:
I will admit though, I wasn't pleased when she [Courtney] got in the pool during my time with Jamie. I know she was just trying to let me know that she's interested, but Jamie has a tough time opening up and having Courtney out of the corner of her eye wasn't helping.
Um, you seemed pretty pleased when you went on and on describing how much you wanted to turn away from Jamie and look at Courtney.
Exhibit B:
I wanted to make her feel comfortable and I know she was really working hard to put herself out there, but I felt like I was taking advantage of her in some way. I knew there wasn't enough time left in this journey to get to a place with Jamie that we would need to get so I had to let her go.
Really Ben? You said "journey" like that in a completely serious way like that? I doubt it.
Exhibit A:
I will admit though, I wasn't pleased when she [Courtney] got in the pool during my time with Jamie. I know she was just trying to let me know that she's interested, but Jamie has a tough time opening up and having Courtney out of the corner of her eye wasn't helping.
Um, you seemed pretty pleased when you went on and on describing how much you wanted to turn away from Jamie and look at Courtney.
Exhibit B:
I wanted to make her feel comfortable and I know she was really working hard to put herself out there, but I felt like I was taking advantage of her in some way. I knew there wasn't enough time left in this journey to get to a place with Jamie that we would need to get so I had to let her go.
Really Ben? You said "journey" like that in a completely serious way like that? I doubt it.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Check it out: Knotty Bride blog
Oh man. I just sat through a 6 hour meeting (don't worry, we worked through lunch) and the only bright spot was that I was reading this blog from Knotty Bride for part of it. I kept cracking up though, which kind of gave it away that I wasnt reading important company-related emails. So I finally got back to my desk and read it, and it's awesome. I recommend it highly. My favorite parts:
Lots of screen shots, but this one is my favorite. I'm in an especially hostile mood:
And this:
Chrisharrison jumps out of the hot air balloon he rented for the day which floats away just in time to make it look like he has achieved human flight – something that’s become important to him whenever he’s in front of the girls for whatever reason – and proceeds to apprise the bevy of the obvious facts of overwhelming obviousness that everyone already knows, but probably forgot because let’s face it they aren’t on this show to remember things. They’re here TO WIN BEN’S COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL LOVE! And what a prize that is.
Also, this:
BEN says that he saw a new side to Blakely tonight, a sincere side, and he says that she has had an epiphany, and that he’s so happy for her that she’s finally accepted him as her one true Lord and savior and that she can now receive his wonderful kisses.
It's a good blog. Read it. And I'm out.
Lots of screen shots, but this one is my favorite. I'm in an especially hostile mood:
And this:
Chrisharrison jumps out of the hot air balloon he rented for the day which floats away just in time to make it look like he has achieved human flight – something that’s become important to him whenever he’s in front of the girls for whatever reason – and proceeds to apprise the bevy of the obvious facts of overwhelming obviousness that everyone already knows, but probably forgot because let’s face it they aren’t on this show to remember things. They’re here TO WIN BEN’S COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL LOVE! And what a prize that is.
Also, this:
BEN says that he saw a new side to Blakely tonight, a sincere side, and he says that she has had an epiphany, and that he’s so happy for her that she’s finally accepted him as her one true Lord and savior and that she can now receive his wonderful kisses.
It's a good blog. Read it. And I'm out.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Check it out: Possessionista's take on Ep 4
For the record, Possessionista, I think you're very funny and I always enjoy your blog!
Moving on, I loved Casey's dress too and agree that it's the type of dress you wear to impress other women, like she pointed out here:
In the world of fashion, there are two kinds of women. Women who dress for men. And women who dress for other women. Casey S. is someone who dresses for other women. I personally loved this week’s dusty pink chiffon dress. I love floaty, ethereal dresses, and blush is a beautiful color right now.
My husband thought it was the worst thing he’s seen since, well, Monica’s dress.
(Also, I may end up sleeping on the couch, having just revealed that my husband also watches the Bachelor. Oh well, something to talk about in therapy this week.)
I feel like there's actually been a lot of "dressing for women" on this show...sorry to point out the obvious, but other than Blakeley's romper or Monica this week, where is the cleavage? I mean, just look at Kacie's droopy sweaters or Jennifer's crew neck sweater for her date (though she did eventually strip down a bikini...so there's that...). Clearly Ben isn't opposed to it - why else did Blakeley get that rose? Just a thought...
Moving on, I loved Casey's dress too and agree that it's the type of dress you wear to impress other women, like she pointed out here:
In the world of fashion, there are two kinds of women. Women who dress for men. And women who dress for other women. Casey S. is someone who dresses for other women. I personally loved this week’s dusty pink chiffon dress. I love floaty, ethereal dresses, and blush is a beautiful color right now.
My husband thought it was the worst thing he’s seen since, well, Monica’s dress.
(Also, I may end up sleeping on the couch, having just revealed that my husband also watches the Bachelor. Oh well, something to talk about in therapy this week.)
I feel like there's actually been a lot of "dressing for women" on this show...sorry to point out the obvious, but other than Blakeley's romper or Monica this week, where is the cleavage? I mean, just look at Kacie's droopy sweaters or Jennifer's crew neck sweater for her date (though she did eventually strip down a bikini...so there's that...). Clearly Ben isn't opposed to it - why else did Blakeley get that rose? Just a thought...
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Check it out: Vulture's Bach recap
This one is definitely worth a read...just a sample:
Courtney announces (to us) her intention to get the rose, and takes Ben upstairs in her bikini and they kiss for a while in a way that totally makes it look like they're naked (Courtney the Model knows how to block a shot!). Even though we know that Courtney is totally happy and fine, she tells Ben that she's "losing sight" of what they have together. So Ben practically trips over his feet running downstairs to go get the rose and give it to Courtney instead of Kacie. We are then shown Courtney rubbing the rose all over her face while saying "Winning! Winning!" (For real.)
Yes! A thousand times yes! Check it out here.
Courtney announces (to us) her intention to get the rose, and takes Ben upstairs in her bikini and they kiss for a while in a way that totally makes it look like they're naked (Courtney the Model knows how to block a shot!). Even though we know that Courtney is totally happy and fine, she tells Ben that she's "losing sight" of what they have together. So Ben practically trips over his feet running downstairs to go get the rose and give it to Courtney instead of Kacie. We are then shown Courtney rubbing the rose all over her face while saying "Winning! Winning!" (For real.)
Yes! A thousand times yes! Check it out here.
Check it out: Lincee Ray's Huffington Post blog
This blog is hilarious! I can't believe I've missed it so far this season. I'm definitely going to add it to my rotation. This is my favorite bit:
Miss Pacific Palisades plucks up the courage to ask Ben why she's been on three group dates and no one-on-one dates. He calmly explains that he is looking for specific characteristics in the group dates, while reminding her that not everyone is granted an invitation to bask in his presence. That's code for: Count your blessings, chick! Unfazed by his gentle warning, Samantha presses the issue again. He's left with no choice but to say that she's a great girl, but he assumes she's not really into him since she spends most of her time in the handicapped bathroom stall. She licks her lips, maintains a clueless stare and then is escorted to a black SUV waiting after he helps her pack. Amateur.
Excellent point...she WAS hiding in a bathroom because Blakely annoyed her a few eps ago. Be sure to check this blog out!
Miss Pacific Palisades plucks up the courage to ask Ben why she's been on three group dates and no one-on-one dates. He calmly explains that he is looking for specific characteristics in the group dates, while reminding her that not everyone is granted an invitation to bask in his presence. That's code for: Count your blessings, chick! Unfazed by his gentle warning, Samantha presses the issue again. He's left with no choice but to say that she's a great girl, but he assumes she's not really into him since she spends most of her time in the handicapped bathroom stall. She licks her lips, maintains a clueless stare and then is escorted to a black SUV waiting after he helps her pack. Amateur.
Excellent point...she WAS hiding in a bathroom because Blakely annoyed her a few eps ago. Be sure to check this blog out!
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