Check it out: Beches love this

This blog is called "Beches love this" which I guess makes me a "Bech." I'm good with that!

My fave:

“And then there’s also Courtney…There’s some sort of weird magical force that sort of pulls us together.” Yeah Ben that force has a name, it’s called your dick.

I'm Going to Poke the Bear

I kind of have a problem with this:

I really don't appreciate Brad calling what Kacie said "snitching." I'm sorry, but how old are you? If you're old enough to be getting married, and you're not on The Wire, I'm pretty sure you're capable of using words other than "snitching." Then again, this is RoboBrad. Anyway, that tweet just comes off as childish and defensive. If you can't heat then get out of the Bachelor. I think Ali Fedotowsky had a much more mature take on it,

On my season, I wanted the guys to tell me what I wasn’t seeing behind the scenes, but they never really did. It’s like they didn’t want to break the “man code.” However, women tend to feel the need to look out for the men they care about and be vocal about the women they think don’t have good intentions. Women don’t generally think of that as tattling, in my opinion at least.

In other news, how douchey does Ben look in his Twitter pic? Is that supposed to be the hipster-ironic version of The Douche? Anyway, I'll get my Bach recap up tonight!

Check it out: Say No to Cosmo Says Yes to Harry Cox

There is just a lot of TRUTH in this latest blog post from Ashley Spivey:

Ben says that he has moments where he can see himself with Lindzi.  Those other moments are spent fantasizing about skinny dipping with Courtney again.

So true.


So TRUE! Ben played it really poorly with Kacie's dad.



I just like this picture because Ben's hair looks especially terrible. And he looks even more like Francine:




Nicki’s Dad makes a sweet speech at the table and Ben’s guilty feelings are written all over his face.  I think he knows that eventually he will end things with Nicki and he will hurt her once again.

So. True.

Ben saves the best for last and heads to Scottsdale, Arizona to meet Courtney’s family.  During the hometown dates, the girls are kept in isolation and all of this alone time must be getting to Courtney.  She feels remorseful for saying mean things about the girls.  Or the producers brought her in to do voiceovers since all of America hates her and they need us to care about her.

And that is the truest thing in the whole episode.

Check it out!

Bachelor Ben - Episode 7

Must. Keep eyes. Open.

It’s been a long day. Between heart shaped pizzas and a few glasses of wine I’m ready for a big ole nap. But let’s do this Bach thing, shall we?

Welcome to BELIZEEEE! Can we please pick a locale that doesn’t make everyone’s hair (except for Courtney, who clearly sold her soul to the devil) look so terrible? Like…Norway? Somewhere without humidity. Get on that producers.

This week there will be 3 one-on-ones, no roses, and a group date WITH a rose. This is the last episode before HOMETOWNS, and you know what that means. Next week will be filled with awkward dads signing off on their daughters marrying some rando from TV and Lindzi shrieking around horses. Oh snap just gave that away. Oh well.

Lindzi gets the first one-on-one. Ben shows up to get her in a tacky tank top. It is not a good look. Nikki is crying. They take off in a Helicopter of Love and get ready to do the thing Lindzi clearly listed as her Greatest Fear: Jump out of the helicopter in the ocean. Oddly specific, but we’ll go with it. Lindzi is freaking the F out and does not want to jump, and Ben seems a wee bit irritated…why is she showing emotions?? Didn’t he request that each and every woman he graced with his presence “go with the flow”? Anyway, she jumps. Billions of "jumping into love" metaphors ensue.

Timeout: Why are the Bachelor dates so much more centered around daredevil stunts than the Bachelorette dates? Is it because the women bond to the Bachelor faster if they feel like he’s “protecting” them? Is it because the Bachelors like to test the women and see if they are low maintenance, laid back types (never realized that this was such a high standard that men set but it’s been pretty important for both Ben and Brad…hmm…). It seems like their assumption is that the more down a woman is for leaping blindly into a black pit of doom, the more likely she is to be an easygoing, emotion-free wife. You know what I call people who do ridiculous things like jump out of helicopters or hold tarantulas (Courtney) without fear? I call them stupid. There I said it. Fear is a sign of intelligence. Moving on.

They go to dinner, sit awkwardly on some blankets on a pier, Lindzi thinks she’s not SURE sure she wants Ben to meet her parents (are they horses?) but then she comes around. Ben: I could see the rest of my life with this woman etc etc she’s so laid back etc etc SCENE.

Next date card: Emily. Courtney is PISSED. I mean, come on, this is the girl who DID HER WRONG, amiright? It’s pretty clear that Courtney is a VICTIM of all of this. It’s not like Courtney has ever said ANYTHING nasty about Emily. Or, god forbid, Emily has never apologized to Court…OH WAIT. Anyway, Courtney cries. America feels uncomfortable, does she have feelings? Is she on her period? Why does she do that weird thing with her mouth? She claims that if she doesn’t get the next date card, she won’t accept a rose from Ben. The producers take note.

Emily and Ben go bike riding and then catch lobsters together. The fake enthusiasm Emily is projecting is almost as irritating as Ben’s frizzy hair and sense of superiority. Emily apologizes AGAIN about Courtney, she and Ben make out on the dance floor and look really cute and drunk. God his hair is awful. “I could see myself loving this woman.” Hmm…

Date card comes. Lo and behold, it’s time for Courtney to go on a one-on-one. She is just saying craaaazy things around the other girls. “You would think if he was like crazy about me he would give me a date card. It’s about time! He hasn’t forgotten about me. He’s a smart boy, he listens!” Kacie is PISSED…and she makes a “bitch!” filled rant that makes me loves me even more. Which probably means that Ben is going to send her home next.

Time for Court’s date. GRRR this girl irritates me. “I need more and he knows that.” WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Except that it totally works. She reels Ben in like that fish in Utah. They hike up the temple and Courtney rants a bit more about Emily. “I had a really tough day yesterday. I was bummed out. Am I going to get a one-on-one date? I wasn’t going to accept a rose from you. I felt so good about you in the beginning…but now I haven’t felt that spark.”

TIMEOUT: If ANY other girl have the balls to say this to Ben, she would be sent packing faster than you can say “Flajnik.” But Courtney plays it so well…giving (skinny dipping, monopolizing him on group dates) and then taking away (“I’ve lost the spark babe”). Ben looks like a sad crushed puppy dog, and tries desperately to reassure Courtney and goes on and on about how much he wants her to stay. He gives her an oral commitment that he wants to meet her family. They canoodle on top of the Mayan pyramid (definitely not sacrilegious) and they are SO snuggly.



“Today’s group date is really special – I’m waking the women up at 4:00 AM.” What follows is far and away my favorite thing that happened this episode…all the girls FRANTICALLY shaving before their date on the beach. Love it.

Group date is…swimming with SHARKS. Rachel is freeaking out. Shockingly Ben does not seem to find this super attractive. Ben explains that if the sharks get aggressive they should hit them in the nose. I hate his voice. So condescending. Bleh.

After party. Rachel tells Ben that she is ready to take him home to her family. He makes a noise like AUGHHHH and then ATTACKS her face like a shark on a piece of chum. Clearly Ben’s go-to move when he’s not sure what to say. Also known in many circles as a “dick move.” Nikki tells Ben that’s she’s really glad she told him that she’s falling in love with him, but unfortunately she’s overshadowed by the other love-drunk puppy – Kacie. She tells Ben she’s falling in love with him and he gives her a drunk smile and kisses her. She giddily says that this is all she needs. She gets the rose. Oh Kacie, I love you, but he said a lot more to Courtney and she just barely deigned to invite him home.

“We want you to be happy, and it’s hard to not say something when we see someone act so differently around us than she does around you,” Nikki says. In his sweetest voice Ben says, “well I’d like to hear it!” Oh WOULD you Ben? You’re not going to tell them to “be careful” and “tread lightly?” They tell him Courtney is two-faced, he’s concerned, but mostly because he thinks she might be lying to him about being into him. Not that, you know, she’s may or may not be a bad person.

Rose ceremony time. Each woman admits to being nervous. But not Courtney! She’s sucking down her pina colada – “I’m feeling good! Let’s lighten the mood! Don’t think the worst – the glass is half-full! Ben’s not the only guy in the world!”

Emily: “Did she SAY he’s NOT the only guy in the world?” The horror.

Chris Harrison: No cocktail party, time for the rose ceremony. Rachel’s already crying, this does not bode well.

DRAMZ – Ben lines up the girls, then steals Courtney away for a moment. Um, what’s the point in skipping the rose ceremony if you’re just going to have more chit chat? Court says she’s been nothing but honest and open and answers Ben’s questions about her “intentions” quickly and defensively.

Nikki is called first. Lindzi is next. DRAMZ TIME. Rachel, Emily or Courtney? Ben deliberates. Annnd it’s…Courtney! She skips forward like a 4 year old and accepts his rose. She shouts “see ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!” at Emily’s back as she leaves. REALLY? Ugh Ben you deserve this ho.

NEXT WEEK: HOMETOWNS! See ya! Would want to be ya! I mean I assume, I don’t know your life. 

Check it out: Knotty Bride blog part 2

Oh man. The Knotty Bride got this week started out RIGHT. I had way too many favorite excerpts from her Part 2 from last week, so these are the creme de la creme:



Her reaction to Blakeley's scrapbook:


First Rule of Date Club is you don’t make him a scrapbook.  Second rule: if you couldn’t help yourself and you went ahead and made that scrapbook we told you not to make, for chrissake don’t f**king SHOW HIM THE THING.  Third rule: did you show it to him?  You’re out of Date Club.  You don’t get to date people anymore.

On Ben dumping Blakeley:

When Ben gives Rachel the rose, Blakeley almost immediately blacks out from her sadness and then sleepwalks out of the restaurant hoping to escape any continued sadness potential.  Best thing she could have done, in my opinion.  Just GTFO of there, stat.  But she’s obviously forgotten who she’s dealing with; Ben doesn’t let you off the hook so quickly.  He is in Panama as a missionary, having given his life for the greater cause of Ending Things Badly.

BEN: “Blakely, could you just– Blak–Blakely, could–could you slow down… could you just….. could you just go with the flow?  GOD I appreciate it when women do that, instead of have emotions.  I can’t risk being with a woman who has convictions that could get in the way of her devotion to me and little 3 inch Ben-icio WAIT WHAT, I MEAN WHAT, I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING, WHAT, WHO WHAT? HAHAHAHAH JUST KIDDING HEY LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOTHING’S WRONG WITH MY PEEN.

And finally, an excellent concept for a new show:

Forget Bachelor Pad; I feel ABC needs to get some kind of Bachelor Group Therapy show in R&D.  I think I’d watch that.  Like, willingly.  (By “R&D” I mean Rent another mansion and Dump these girls inside with Dr. Drew Pinsky… or me.  And I’d like to get that Honey Boo Boo Child in the mix, too.  I feel she’s probably at about the same point in emotional development as a few of these women so might as well kill two birds, y’know?)

Check it out: Knotty Bride bloggy

The Knotty Bride Bach blog is always awsome...and this week she broke it into 2 parts so that the fun could just keep going. After this incredibly long week I am very thankful for that. There are my fave parts:

So it’s business as usual, I see.  Aright, sounds good, let’s keep on breaking those hearts with that excessive force of yours, Ben.  You’re doing it right!




Today, Kacie B unsuckled herself from her mother’s teet, and stepped out into adulthood.  You guys I’m so prouda her!  Taking her first steps!  Awwww, MY WHITTLES, I KNOW EVERYBODY THINKS THEIR BABY IS A GENIUS, BUT YOU ARE REALLY A GENIUS.

BEN: “My date with Kacie B was very fun, she… goes with the flow, and GOD, do I appreciate it.”  So true.  They’re really so hard to fiiiiiind; these aggressively passive, sedated girls without goals of their own… right Ben?  Or I’m just kidding and they’re actually everywhere you turn, just close your eyes and point.  See, this is where I don’t get why you haven’t found love already.  The only legitimate reason would be that you’re a vapid soulless human being who never learned what it is to be empathic and on a scale of 1 to 10 on the scale of human evolution you’re at about a 3.5 = juuuust starting to stand up and walk/make fire.

Check it out: Ashley Spivey gets fancy!

OH man. I feel bad that I'm just now getting to this, but it's awesome per usual, so be sure to check out Ashley Spivey's "Say no to Cosmo" blog. My faves:


At dinner, Kacie tells Ben a powerful story from her past.  For a year she struggled with an eating disorder but it has made her a stronger person.  Ben looked like this picture for a majority of the conversation.

I agree! I felt like he was totally zoning out for this convo.

This was DEFINITELY my favorite screenshot:




Ben really likes when girls do what he tells them to do so he decides to reward Emily with some tongue!

Preach!

And finally, I'll leave you with this:

Bachelor Ben - Episode 6

Ok. Tonight’s Bach recap is going to be short. All I want is to curl up in my comfy bed but I’m pretty sure that if I wait till morning to do this I won’t remember what happened. So here goes.

After the world’s longest introduction, we find out that Kacie is getting the first one-on-one. Yayyy now we don’t have to listen to her whining about how she just wants to have him all to herself. They fly around in a helicopter and land…on a desert island. Then the date consists of…chilling Castaway style?? WHAT? They cut open a coconut? Ben gets sweaty and it’s gross. Kacie’s hair is doing unfortunate things. I’m pretty sure there are rainforests and beautiful beaches in Panama, why didn’t they go to one of those? This date sucks.

Kacie confesses, very painfully, that she had an eating disorder in high school and that made her grow up especially fast. Ben reacts by…doing nothing. Except asking her how long she had it. Kacie graciously thanks Ben for making it easy on her to share this painful background story. In my opinion, he was not very comforting or kind to her about this. He just seems so cold. Bleh. Anyway she obviously gets the rose. I didn’t think he was that into her…although oppressive humidity and discussing bulimia tend to take the romance out of a date.

Group date is announced…and clearly Blakeley and Rachel are going to be doing the 2-on-1 thing. Blakeley is inexplicably really excited. Rachel realizes that this is going to be a fight to the death.

The other chicas – Jamie, Courtney, Lyndzi, Nicki, Emily, Casey – head off to a village, where they do body paint, and run around in loin cloths. Ben looks terrible. I’m sorry, I can’t hold back my Ben loathing very well. But he seems to have put on a few pounds, and he’s wearing a really unfortunate loincloth, and we’ve already discussed the hair. Courtney gets ahead by wearing nothing but a sarong and see-through beaded top, and by stealing Ben away every chance she gets. She really doesn’t seem very into Ben, but she definitely likes that she’s “winning” this game.

Cut to cocktail party. Ben has a sloppy-drunk conversation with Lyndzi, where he gives her the highest compliment that he can give a woman – that she’s low maintenance. It’s painfully clear that Ben is looking for two things: easy-going, and sex. Is Ben aware that there are simpler ways to find an easy girl than going on the Bachelor? Perhaps he should try an escort service? But again, I’m getting off track.

He has a painfully awkward convo with Jamie, who still hasn’t kissed him. He gives her some patronizing advice probably. I forget. Emily redeems herself by pretending that she’s fallen in love…with the chief from the village. HILAR. I think the chief would probably have made a better boyfriend – at least he wouldn’t have lectured you about the proper way to behave on a TV dating show.

Emily apologizes for what she said about Courtney and Courtney graciously forgives her. Just kidding. Courtney says “we’ll never been friends and I don’t forgive and forget.” Who looks like the asshole now?

Lyndzi gets the rose, Courtney is pissed. Courtney waits up, hoping Ben will come to her room. Doesn’t she share a suite with like 8 other women? Guess not. Ben does not show. Courtney is upset.

Two on one time. This is my friend Jenna’s favorite date of the season, but I was extremely uncomfortable. Rachel and Blakeley both put on ridiculous dresses and dance salsa with Ben…Ben says “sexual” in a really gross way…and finally, Blakeley shows Ben the scrapbook that she has made of their time together. Ben smiles and makes out with her…and then punts her to the door, giving Rachel the rose. Blakeley storms off and I’m SO PROUD…but Big Baby Ben demands that he gets a chance to explain just why he decided to send her packing…and it’s that he doesn’t like her! Thanks for clearing that up Ben! You’re right, the best way to respect someone is to send them home right after sucking face!

Back at the house. There’s drama with Casey. She’s still in love with her ex-bf. She cries a lot, and tells Ben, who is all, I just told you to be open, and you weren’t, so you should go home. I feel bad for Casey because she’s in a “why can’t I quit you” situation with this guy from home, who doesn’t want to marry her. But she gets carted off in a minivan of tears.

Rose ceremony. This is almost too awkward to write about. Jamie, in a sangria-fueled last ditch effort to win Ben’s heart, mounts him during their along time and tries to make out with him. It is really bad. I like Jamie so I’m done writing about it.

Shocker, Jamie’s the one going home. It’s fine, she was too good for Ben anyway. Now we’re off to BELLLIIIZZZEE home of romance and malaria! Until next time!

Check it out: Knotty Bride blog

Oh man. I just sat through a 6 hour meeting (don't worry, we worked through lunch) and the only bright spot was that I was reading this blog from Knotty Bride for part of it. I kept cracking up though, which kind of gave it away that I wasnt reading important company-related emails. So I finally got back to my desk and read it, and it's awesome. I recommend it highly. My favorite parts:

Lots of screen shots, but this one is my favorite. I'm in an especially hostile mood:




And this:

Chrisharrison jumps out of the hot air balloon he rented for the day which floats away just in time to make it look like he has achieved human flight – something that’s become important to him whenever he’s in front of the girls for whatever reason – and proceeds to apprise the bevy of the obvious facts of overwhelming obviousness that everyone already knows, but probably forgot because let’s face it they aren’t on this show to remember things.  They’re here TO WIN BEN’S COMPLETELY NON-SEXUAL LOVE!  And what a prize that is.

Also, this:

BEN says that he saw a new side to Blakely tonight, a sincere side, and he says that she has had an epiphany, and that he’s so happy for her that she’s finally accepted him as her one true Lord and savior and that she can now receive his wonderful kisses.

It's a good blog. Read it. And I'm out.

Check it out: HELLS YES Ashley Spivey!

I know I'm late with this...but AWESOME, honest blog from Ashley Spivey! I wrote my recap of the episode right after I saw it, before I saw any recaps from other people, and I was really upset by the way Ben acted, especially what he said to Emily. Then the next morning I read everyone else's recaps, and no one reacted quite as strongly as I did, and I started to second guess myself.


THEN Ashley posts her blog. And it's AWESOME. And it says everything I was thinking and more. Let's dive in...

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to stop blogging for this season but I think I’m done with trying to defend Ben and his decisions or find a way to see a love story unfolding.

Damn! 

He picks up the rose but then tells Elyse that he will not be giving it to her.  OUCH!

Elyse seems to think that it was something that she did that made Ben send her home.  Instead of being brutally honest with her like he was for most of the date, he opts to sugar coat things.  This infuriates me because he got so mad at Ashley for this same exact thing.

Emily starts out apologizing to Ben for the Courtney talk last week but then she goes and starts dissing Courtney again.  Ben cannot hide his disgust - it is written all over his face.  He even tells Emily to, “Be careful and tread lightly.”  I was hoping that Emily would just get up and kick sand in his face.  No guy should talk to you like that or not be open to hearing you show concern. 

Yes! This is EXACTLY what I was saying! It really pisses me off that he was talking to her like that. You could argue that he's trying to give her "advice," but he sounds extremely condescending and it comes off very controlling. Unattractive.


Be sure to check out A-Spive's blog at saynotocosmo.com!

Check it out: Ali Fedotowsky

There are just too many things that I love about this blog from Ali Fedotowsky. Let's dive in. This is some great insight into why someone gets a rose. I like how she breaks down the facade that every. single. rose. is critical and calculated:

I found it very interesting that Ben got to choose a woman to take on the night portion of the date, and it means a lot that he picked Lindzi. It’s not a rose, but in my opinion it’s much better. Usually roses are given to some people because you don’t want to be harsh and send someone home on a one-on-one date. And sometimes you give a rose on a group date to someone who you haven’t spent that much time with, so you want them to feel better by getting the rose. Believe me, there are hundreds of reasons why roses are given out. If who the roses were given to didn’t get switched up every once in a while, I would have given my group date roses to one of three or four guys every single time. However, giving Lindzi more “time” is much more special, and it shows that he wants to be around her and get to know her better. I’m not sure if this makes sense to you guys, but it makes perfect sense in my head, maybe because I lived through it.

She also explains why Ben's "broke the rules" comment isn't really true:

People often ask me if the girls can go to see Ben whenever they want and the answer is no, they can’t. So in this situation Courtney must have asked a producer if she could see him so they could skinny dip and they allowed it. Ben said she “broke the rules” but trust me, she got permission.

And finally...I know that this is a bit much but I have to inclue it - this is really good insight into Ben's "be careful" comment!

Ben should not have told Emily to “be careful.” That was such a poor choice of words. Emily was simply looking out for him, but she wasn’t doing it or expressing it to him the right way. I know exactly what she’s going through, but after she apologized she shouldn’t have brought it up again because it just wasn’t necessary. As for Ben, I think he’s just getting tired at this point in the show and he doesn’t want to be influenced by others. Guys and girls are different in this regard. Well, I should say that Ben and I are different in this regard. On my season, I wanted the guys to tell me what I wasn’t seeing behind the scenes, but they never really did. It’s like they didn’t want to break the “man code.” However, women tend to feel the need to look out for the men they care about and be vocal about the women they think don’t have good intentions. Women don’t generally think of that as tattling, in my opinion at least. I would be interested to hear what you guys think.

Check it out: Ben's blog

I wqas looking forward to reading Ben's blog because I saw a tweet somewhere that said he would explain more about Jennifer. He did, sort of:

Saying goodbye to Jennifer at the rose ceremony was excruciating. We had such a fantastic date in Park City, but as my relationships with the other women were taking off, I knew in my heart that I wasn't going to end up with her.

More than anyone else here, I didn't want Jennifer to invest any more of her feelings in me. She is so incredibly kind, and wears her heart on her sleeve, that I didn't want to risk her investing any more emotion in our relationship when I knew it wouldn't be forever. I will always remember Jennifer and the sweet time we shared together.

Eh, so kind of makes up for his assholery, but I'm not letting him out of the doghouse yet. If he knew he wasn't going to end up with Jennifer, he shouldnt have made out with her right before the rose ceremony, giving her the impression that everything was hunky-dory. I don't care how good a kisser she is!

Bachelor Ben - Episode 5

GAR! How am I supposed to do a legit recap NOW? Really Ben? REALLY? We’ll get to the reason in a bit…

Episode starts strong, Nicki gets the one-on-one. We shouldn’t be surprised…the way to Ben’s heart is to be ever-so-appreciative just for the chance to breathe the same air as him, and Nicki played it right last week when she thanked him just for having her on group dates.

They go walking around Puerto Rico, but then it starts pouring so they have to buy new civilian Puerto Rican clothes. Ben thinks he’s pretty clever for dressing all in white linen. Sorry, just really anti-Ben right now.

They go to watch a wedding? Which is kind of creepy slash reminds Nicki of all her Ghosts of Weddings Past. I like her during this scene, she’s so considerate and sweet, and seems to not want to just commit to just any guy, and not too quickly. Which is a good reason not to do the Bachelor…but still…Ben also says that there’s a big difference to him between getting married and being engaged – signal to Bachelor Nation that the lady Ben ultimately proposes to will not be his wife for a good while after the show!

They go on a boring dinner…blah blah…Nicki gets the rose.

Back at the house, Elyse gets the one-on-one. Blakeley is very upset. For the group date, the chicas head off to play some baseball. They split into teams, and the winners get a special cocktail party with Ben. Shit. Gets. Real. These ladies are In It To Win It. It seems like playing baseball like that would be fun but there’s NO FUN HERE, only serious playing. The team with Kacie, Courtney, and some other chicks wins, and the other team is sad. Especially Blakeley, who was especially good at baseball, surprisingly. At the after party Kacie gets the rose. Fin.

Time for Elyse’s one-on-one. They go out on a huge yacht and swim around in the ocean, then go to an island for dinner. Ben inexplicably wears a tux. His hair is frizzy and he looks terrible. As Elyse drones on in her terrible accent (no offense Chicago) Ben is clearly bored. He picks up the rose, Elyse is excited. Then he harshly tells her that he “can’t” give her the rose because his other connections are stronger. She’s so upset and wants to know what she did wrong, but Ben isn’t very consoling. Ben is sticking so hard to his “good things don’t end unless they end badly” line, but that doesn’t need to be true asshole – sometimes you can let people down easy, sometimes good things can end amicably. UGH.

COURT-DAWG is waiting for Ben when he returns from dumping Elyse. She comes into his hotel room, mumbles in baby-talk, gives him some wine, and drags him out to skinny dip. Pro: she has really pretty underwear. Con: she says “I don’t think he’s ever skinny dipped with a model before, so….” Followed by her face. You know the face.

Courtney and Ben crash into the waves nakedly. They embrace, nakedly. They make out, nakedly. I would bet a bazillion dollars that they do a lot more nakedly, perhaps right there, but perhaps back in Ben’s room…because when Ben shows up for the rose ceremony cocktail party the next day, he is ashamed and admits to feeling “crappy” about going for it. It seems like Something Happened, and maybe he feels like Courtney trapped him.

Blakeley tells Ben that she is really falling and has realized that she is worthy of his love. I actually like her in this scene. Ben seems a bit weirded out and not at all surprised that this gorgeous woman thought that she wasn’t worthy of ALMIGHTLY AMAZING BEN.

Ben has several chat sessions on a blanket by the ocean, but one particularly doesn’t go well. Emily. Pros: the highlights Blakeley gave her look really nice. Cons: she brings up the Courtney thing again, and he smacks her down. He seems like he’s scolding a small child, telling her, “tread lightly” and “let it go.” Yeah, Emily should have known better. But did Ben have to act like such a sanctimonious douche bag? Let the women tell you the truth! You don’t have to believe what they say, but you should respect their right to say it! Emily slinks away crying.

Courtney spends the night chuckling to herself and playing along with the other girls when they bring up skinny dipping (well done producers). Ugh she’s the worst.

Ok, finally time for the rose ceremony. He’s sending one person home. Will it be Blakeley, who he still doesn’t seem to have a future with? Emily, who he basically yelled at for bringing up Courtney in his Exalted Presence? Casey or Jamie, who haven’t had a one-on-one yet and who we never hear from?

NO! NO THAT WOULDN’T BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR KING BEN! He has to send Jennifer, the most normal, beautiful, falling-in-love-with-Ben redhead the world has ever seen home. And he does so without much remorse or kindness. What the Flajnik is his PROBLEM? Jennifer is a class act to the end. So long Jennifer, you are worth so much more.

I can’t even write about it anymore. BEN FLAJNIK, YOU WILL NEED TO MAKE THIS UP TO ME. Until the final rose…