Check it out: Knotty Bride blog part 2

Oh man. The Knotty Bride got this week started out RIGHT. I had way too many favorite excerpts from her Part 2 from last week, so these are the creme de la creme:



Her reaction to Blakeley's scrapbook:


First Rule of Date Club is you don’t make him a scrapbook.  Second rule: if you couldn’t help yourself and you went ahead and made that scrapbook we told you not to make, for chrissake don’t f**king SHOW HIM THE THING.  Third rule: did you show it to him?  You’re out of Date Club.  You don’t get to date people anymore.

On Ben dumping Blakeley:

When Ben gives Rachel the rose, Blakeley almost immediately blacks out from her sadness and then sleepwalks out of the restaurant hoping to escape any continued sadness potential.  Best thing she could have done, in my opinion.  Just GTFO of there, stat.  But she’s obviously forgotten who she’s dealing with; Ben doesn’t let you off the hook so quickly.  He is in Panama as a missionary, having given his life for the greater cause of Ending Things Badly.

BEN: “Blakely, could you just– Blak–Blakely, could–could you slow down… could you just….. could you just go with the flow?  GOD I appreciate it when women do that, instead of have emotions.  I can’t risk being with a woman who has convictions that could get in the way of her devotion to me and little 3 inch Ben-icio WAIT WHAT, I MEAN WHAT, I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING, WHAT, WHO WHAT? HAHAHAHAH JUST KIDDING HEY LET’S CHANGE THE SUBJECT NOTHING’S WRONG WITH MY PEEN.

And finally, an excellent concept for a new show:

Forget Bachelor Pad; I feel ABC needs to get some kind of Bachelor Group Therapy show in R&D.  I think I’d watch that.  Like, willingly.  (By “R&D” I mean Rent another mansion and Dump these girls inside with Dr. Drew Pinsky… or me.  And I’d like to get that Honey Boo Boo Child in the mix, too.  I feel she’s probably at about the same point in emotional development as a few of these women so might as well kill two birds, y’know?)